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Edgardo Alfonzo was the Giants third baseman between 2003-2005, during which he hit .275/.337/.385 and was paid $19 million. During the 2004 season he also had the distinction of joining the Great Wall of China as one of only two man-made objects visible from outer space.

Most likely, he was an incarnation or astral projection of an obese Dodger, such as Fernando Valenzuela or Tommy Lasorda, with a mission to haunt ATT park and bring unhappiness to fans. After he was successfully exorcised by being sent back to Los Angeles (albeit to the Angels), his essence was transferred into the corpulent spaces of Blownitez.

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This page was last modified on 4 December 2006, at 15:41.
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