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How to Flirt With a Guy

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Complete Guide to Flirting

Flirting is the first step in showing a person that you are interested in them. It takes skill to know how to lay on the charm without seeming inappropriate or clingy. Let this guide show you the right way to flirt with a guy. You’ll be surprised just how effective a few of these techniques will be with a little bit of practice.

Steps in Flirting

Dress to impress. Wear an outfit that makes you feel fun and flirty. Don’t forget to accessorize and be sure to fix your hair and put make-up on. You want to look like a complete package from head to toe. When you feel your best, there’s no stopping you! When you wear clothing that is not right for your body type, you feel sloppy and uncomfortable. You restrict yourself and this makes a bad first impression on your future beau. Select fabrics that move with your body and accentuate your curves. You can consult a few fashion magazines beforehand for inspiration if you’re not sure what styles of clothing would look right on you.

Demonstrate your best traits. If you’re funny, make sure to tell a few tasteful jokes and laugh with your love interest. If you’re creative, you will want to show him a few pictures that you have taken or the latest masterpiece you have painted. This allows him to see a side of you that is relatable and fun right away. There’s no reason to save the best part of yourself for later if you’re interested in a guy now. Giving him an idea of who you are as a person can increase your chances of the two of you going out. There won’t be room for surprises if you’re honest and genuine from the moment that you first meet.

Body Language

Pay careful attention to your body language. What kind of message are you putting out to him? Are you stiff and unapproachable or do you make eye contact with him and smile when he speaks. Remember that it’s not always what you say; it’s how you convey the message that counts. Stand tall with your shoulders back and avoid slumping over. Don’t make weird faces or roll your eyes. If you discover the guy’s not right for you halfway through your encounter, be polite and excuse yourself. There’s nothing worse than an attractive woman pulling childish faces.

Show him that you’re interested in him. Take the time to really listen to what he has to say. Ask him questions and hear his answers. Get to know his likes and dislikes, his family member and friends’ names, the type of work that he does, and the things he spends his free-time on. If he’s reluctant to share this information with you, change up your approach. Talk to him about your hobbies and interests. Indulge details about your family life and career. It sometimes takes some time to get a guy to talk about his personal life. The point is to get him talking so that he knows that you care.

Reading Body Language

Pay attention to how close he is sitting to you. The closer he is, the more interested he is in what you have to say. You score bonus points if he leans in when you’re speaking or puts his hand on your shoulder when someone else is leading the conversation.

Look to see if he is smiling while tilting his head. This is his way of flirting back. If he lowers his head, he is either bored or distracted by the text messages he keeps receiving. Either way, it’s not a good sign. You want him to be interested and engaged.

Does he make eye contact or does he look down a lot? That doesn’t mean that he’s not into you. It could mean that he’s shy. Give him the benefit of the doubt by reading the other types of body language he is demonstrating.

Compliment Him

Be casual and friendly. Mention his great taste in clothes, movies, and music. If he shares one of his accomplishments with you, make sure that you say something positive about it. All too often, as women, we come off sounding fake. Try to be genuinely invested in your compliments. Make sure they count. This is one of the fastest ways to a guy’s heart. If he thinks that you’re being honest with him, he’s likely to be loyal for life.

Don’t be afraid to touch. A full on petting session might not be necessary at this stage of the game but you shouldn’t rule out touching altogether. Gently place your hand on his arm or shoulder while you are talking to one another. Do not leave it there for a long period of time but do keep it there long enough for him to notice. The sense of touch is one of the most underrated tools we have in our arsenals. It is used far too little but when we do finally take the time to implement it, it has positive, measurable results.

Hold Hands

One of the most intimate acts two people who just met can share is holding one another’s hand. This is a great way to get past the touching barrier. Not only does it require trust, it also involves patience. You rarely see two people holding hands for a brief amount of time. Think back to your first time seeing a movie with a guy. One of the quickest ways he showed you that he was interested was by holding your hand. This act is not reserved for long term relationships and married couples. Show the guy you care by placing your hand in his the next time you see one another.

Most importantly, be yourself. Don’t be someone you’re not. The guy that you are flirting with will eventually find out. It’s better to stay true to who you are and risk the chance of the guy not liking you than acting like a complete stranger whenever he’s around. You don’t have to lay everything on the line the very first time you meet up with him but you should be the truest version of yourself. In fact, there’s no one else in the world quite like you and that’s what’s really cool.

No matter how cute his friends are, consider them off limits. The fastest way to get on a guy’s nerves is by flirting with his friends. Even if you find them more attractive than your original guy, show some constraint. Your playfulness can be taken out of context and considered a little more sinister. You don’t want to embarrass yourself or your guy by showing too much interest in his friends.

Here are a few other things to think about:

Guys are often attracted to women with a great smile. Make sure that you use yours to your advantage. Don’t be afraid to flash them pearly whites. That’s why your parents paid for expensive orthodontics, right? They wanted you to light up every room you walk into. Now’s your chance to shine!

Biting your lip from time to time gives guys the message that you’re a little bit shy. They tend to like a challenge so if they think it’s going to take some work getting you out of your shell, they’ll be the first one to sign up to do so. Even if you’re the most confident gal in the room, give your guy the opportunity to show off a little to his friends. A little bravado never hurt anyone up until now.

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Warnings

Classy girls know how far to take their flirting. Without restraint, they may come off in a negative way. If you’ve learned anything about flirting by reading the tips listed above, you’ll know that a little subtlety never hurts. You don’t have to blatantly wink your eye or blow kisses to your beau. You can casually look his way and smile and get the same kind of effect you were hoping for.

Stupid is as stupid does. There is nothing off putting about a strong, determined female. In fact, many men find female leaders very sexy. Do not degrade yourself by pretending to be less knowledgeable about a subject than you really are. Guys are smart and will call your bluff. If you pretend to be the biggest football fan in the history of time and you don’t even know how many players are on the team, you’ll embarrass yourself and your guy in the process.


Guys appreciate honesty. Without sounding too crass, let your guy know what he can expect from you right away. This will keep him from feeling like he’s in the dark about certain things. Explain why you feel the way you do. This will allow him to make an educated decision as to whether or not he wants to bother seeing you again. If you lie, you’re likely to lose his trust and he won’t be interested in starting a relationship with you now or in the future.

Don’t use your girlfriends as a crutch. When you’re out in a group, make sure that you have the opportunity to speak one-on-one with your crush. Do this in a public place but out of direct view of your BFFs. Shy guys appreciate being able to speak to you without a crowd of your girls watching. You want him to know that you’re fun enough to enjoy a Girl’s Night Out but independent enough to mingle without the direction of others.

Famous Thoughts on Flirting

Here are some famous words on the subject of flirting:

All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense. -François de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer.

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No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not. - Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956) American journalist, satirist and social critic.

When a flirt fishes for a man, she fishes merely for the sport. - Unknown Source

The amount of women in London who flirt with their own husbands is perfectly scandalous. It looks so bad. It is simply washing one's clean linen in public. - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish poet and dramatist.

She learned to say things with her eyes that others waste time putting into words. -Corey Ford

The hardest task of a girl's life, nowadays, is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious. - Helen Rowland If you're a gifted flirt, talking about the price of eggs will do as well as any other subject. - Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her? - Helen Rowland

Beauty is power; a smile is its sword. - Charles Reade

And I highly recommend for all the women in the world, even if they're 71, you can never take for granted that he loves you. It's always good to flirt with him. It's a great sport. - Salma Hayek

I think the eyes flirt most. There are so many ways to use them. - Anna Held

One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you've become harmless. - Liz Smith

Famous Celebrity Flirts

Some of the most famous celebrity flirts include:

  • Amanda Seyfried
  • Olivia Wilde
  • Paris Hilton
  • Taylor Swift
  • Blake Lively
  • Kim Kardashian
  • Marilyn Monroe
  • Madonna
  • Elizabeth Taylor


You're never too old to flirt with guys. Try a few of the tips listed here on for size and see what happens. The worst thing that can come out of it is that you become more aware of the signals you put out to others when you're out in public. Dress to the nines, practice smiling big, and go out there and get em' girl!

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This page was last modified on 16 August 2013, at 23:21.
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