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How to Get Girls to Like You

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All women and girls are unique and that means it is often challenging to find out ways of getting that special girl to like you.

Though attracting the attention of that special girl and maintaining it long enough for her to like you will differ for every woman, men who want to get noticed can follow a few simple rules and guidelines.

Getting Noticed

Getting noticed is the first part of becoming someone a girl likes. To start any relationship, you must first gain enough attention that the girl of your dreams notices your existence. If she does not notice you exist, she will not have an opportunity to get to know you as a person and find out if she likes you.

Like yourself for who you are. Before any girl will like you, you must first like yourself. If you do not like yourself, you will show a girl through lack of confidence and low self-esteem.

Liking yourself does not mean perfection. Instead, it means liking the main traits of your personality and accepting the faults you are still working on.

Be Comfortable With You

If you do not like yourself, take time before trying to get a girl’s attention to focus on you. Honestly ask yourself what you dislike and determine if it’s possible to change. For example, if you dislike that you are overweight, take some time to work off the extra weight until you feel comfortable in your own skin. If you have a personality flaw, start working on changing that part of your personality.

Once you like who you see in the mirror each day, you are more likely to find that others like you better.

Get Her Name

Find out the girl’s name. This is one of the biggest keys to gaining her attention. Women never like being called by another girl’s name, even if it is an accident.

Finding out her name will vary on the situation. If you have a class together, listen when the teacher takes roll on the first few days of school.

Another option is a simple introduction giving a greeting and your name. This option will bring you to her attention, but might not maintain her attention.

Be Yourself

It is not possible to get the girl of your dreams if you pretend that you are someone else.

If you are a little clumsy and dorky, show her the side of you that is a little less graceful. It might just make her laugh or feel humorous. She needs to know you, rather than who you think she might find more attractive.

While you want to show her who you are, keep in mind that maintaining a little mystery is also a good idea. Show her more as you get to know her rather than showing everything about your personality up front. This will keep her interested and make you less boring.

Offer a Greeting

Greetings will vary depending on the girl and the situation. For example, you might just give her a smile and slight nod when she walks past or you might say “good morning” if you see her early.

It is always appropriate to say “hi” or “hello” when you are unsure of an appropriate greeting.

Greetings make her gradually become more comfortable and might result in striking up a conversation. In the case of a shy girl, a greeting allows you to become more familiar until she is comfortable talking.

Talk to the girl of your dreams. Talking is the key to maintaining her attention. Girls enjoy talking and once you get her comfortable enough to casually talk to you, she will start feeling friendly toward you.

Tips on Talking

When you talk, avoid boring conversation topics. For example, don’t ask questions about where she went to school. Instead, talk about something like a popular TV show or a book you’ve read.

Talking about a TV show, book or hobby is not only more interesting than the boring “look how great I am” or “tell me how great you are” conversations, but it also subtly tells her a little about your personality.

Allow her to lead the conversation once you start it and then listen to what she says. If she wants to talk about her family, schooling or other information about herself, she will start discussing it naturally without prompting through a question. This is particularly true of information like her hobbies or personal interests.

Occasionally, make a comment that shows you are listening. When you listen to her, she will become impressed that you are paying attention. Make sure you make a note of the important information she discusses, like her hobbies or family life. This information is best remembered when you start dating.


Flirt with her a little. Keep the flirtation light and cheerful, but obvious. This shows her that you are interested without looking desperate or sleazy.

Give her a compliment while you talk. For example, if she just got a new haircut, tell her how great her hair looks. Compliments should always come naturally; otherwise, the compliment does not sound sincere.

Maintain eye contact while you talk and smile when it is appropriate.

Another key to flirtation is keeping yourself relaxed, confident and casual. You want her to relax, which means you should not worry about whether you have something stuck in your teeth or you’ve said something a little dorky. She’ll feel more comfortable knowing that you aren’t perfect.

Keep Your Lifestyle

Maintain your normal busy lifestyle. Girls do not want you to drop all of your friends, hobbies and other activities to spend all day with her. In fact, it might make you seem like you are obsessed if you did.

Sometimes being unavailable shows her that you have your own life, interests and hobbies. This also makes you more interesting because she learns more about you as a person. If you are not available when she calls, she will probably call again later.

This also gives you more to talk about because if you tell her that you are playing a sport with friends or going snowboarding, she has something to ask you about.

Show Your Uniqueness

Show off your unique talents. When she is comfortable talking to you as a friend and potential love interest, show her something that makes you unique. For example, if you are musically talented or play an instrument, play or sing a song for her. If you are skilled at dancing, turn on some music and dance when you know she’s watching.

Talents that are more mentally inclined might be challenging to show off, but finding something like asking her to play a game of chess or offering to help her with homework will often work.

Showing a talent will work on impressing her. This is particularly true if you have a talent that interests her, such as playing an instrument she wants to learn.

Just take care when you are showing off a talent that you do not end up bragging. Telling her how great you are is less effective than showing her your natural talents when it is appropriate to show her.

Don't Be Overbearing

Avoid giving her exclusive attention. Giving her exclusive attention will either make you look sleazy and obsessed or it will make you look desperate and clingy. Neither impression is the right one when you want to get a girl to like you.

Another reason to avoid giving her exclusive attention is that it might cause her to feel smothered and uncomfortable. While girls like feeling special, they also need a little time alone or involved in personal hobbies.

Talk to your friends, both male and female, and make it clear that while she is important to you, you are willing to give her time to herself when she needs it. Having some female friends will also give you someone to talk to if you need advice about anything she says or does that confuses you.

Asking Her Out

Asking a girl on a date is the next step in a relationship. If you never ask her out, she will remain nothing more than an acquaintance or friend. Ideally, you want to ask her out on a date before ending up in the “friendship only” category in her mind, such as after a few conversations. Otherwise, she might feel uncomfortable with the idea of dating someone she feels is a friend.

Before asking her out, make sure you’ve made your interest clear. Flirtation during the friendly conversations makes it easier to ask her on a date because she already has an idea that you are interested.

You also need to break the touch barrier when you talk. For example, if she seems upset about something, putting a hand on her shoulder and giving a light squeeze shows that you are available to listen and offer support. If she is walking over uneven ground, offering a hand or arm to give a little extra balance is always appreciated.

Little flirtations and touches show her your interest and prepare her for the idea that you might want to date.

The Art of Asking

The only way to ask the girl of your dreams on a date is actually asking her. Women like men to take the lead, particularly for a first date. A few different options are available when you ask her on a date and the most appropriate for the specific girl depends on her attitude and mentality. Since you’ve listened to her talk, you will have an idea of the most appropriate way of asking.

The most obvious way to ask her out is in person during a conversation. This method is usually appropriate for most women and girls since it takes all guesswork out of the situation. It is also a bold method of asking since she will see an immediate reaction to her answer.

If you plan to ask her in person, start by finding out if she’s free in the next week. Since she has her own hobbies and interests, she might not be available. This is particularly true if it is near a holiday and she has family coming to town or is going out of town to meet family. If she is available, then ask if she’d like to go out with you.

Calling or Texting Her

Another method of asking is via a phone call. Though calling is another option, keep in mind that some girls might not like talking on the phone or making plans on the phone. If the girl of your dreams ever mentions a dislike for phone conversations or complains about phones in general, this is probably not a great method of asking.

If you plan to ask over the phone, again find out her plans and then ask. She will not see your face, so if the answer is disappointing she will not immediately see your expression.

The final option is through digital means. This might be either a text message or an email. This is the best option for a more tech-savvy girl or the type of girl who constantly text messages or is consistently online.

If you text or email, send a message asking whether she is free. Only ask if she can go out after she replies to the initial email.

Keep the question casual when you ask and be assertive. If she asks whether it is a date, give a simple “yes” answer to confirm. Backing down and saying “as friends” will not only firmly set you in the “friendship only” category, but will also send a mixed signal. Telling her that it is a date shows that you are taking the lead and she will not need to keep wondering about your interest. Women like men who are willing to take the lead.

Be Specific With Questions

When you ask a girl on a date, always specify something you want to do with her. For example, ask if she wants to get a cup of coffee, go out for lunch or go with you to a new movie.

Ideally, you want something that will interest her, but avoid anything that will prevent you from talking through the entire date. If you think of going to a movie, plan a dinner and movie to provide time to talk on the date.

Any time a girl answers with “no” or “I don’t think so” instead of “yes,” do not show her the disappointment. Instead, give her a smile or keep your voice cheerful as you tell her “Ok, maybe another time.” If you look disappointed, you will make her feel guilty and then she might agree out of pity rather than interest.

Continue talking after she answers no until you can gracefully leave, such as stating that a friend is calling.

Anytime a girl says “yes” to a date, confirm the day and time that is best for her schedule. Confirmation not only avoids misunderstandings about the day and time of the date, but also helps you plan the date.

When you are sure of the day and time, inform her that you will contact her with the details of the date either the day before or the morning of the date. By giving her a specific time, you avoid questions about when she will hear from you next and you take the worry of planning away from her.

Do the Planning

While a woman might enjoy making plans, it is important that on the first date you plan out all of the details. You want to take all of the worries away from her so that she is free to worry about her hair, makeup and outfit.

If you are unsure about any preferences she might have, it is appropriate to ask her a few questions. For example, if you are thinking of an Italian restaurant, ask her during the confirmation what type of food she prefers. This will give you an idea of what to avoid.

Make your plans for the date. Only after the plans are set and you’ve worked out all of the details possible, call her with the information.

Ask the girl of your dreams a leading question about the plans you’ve made. For example, ask her if she likes Italian food or whether she likes a particular type of coffee. This gives her a hint about the upcoming date and makes it easier for her to plan her wardrobe.

Call, text or email her the details of the plan at least three or four hours prior to the date. For a girl, a first date requires more time getting ready. By giving her the details, you are telling her the formality of the location. If it is a location that is personally special, such as your favorite restaurant, tell her while you discuss the location.

The First Date

When you want a girl to like you, it doesn’t stop with just getting to know her as a friend and asking her on a date. You also want to make a good impression during the date. No matter how nervous you are about the first date with your dream girl, if you ruin the first date, she is likely to end up disliking you or thinking poorly of you. A good first date that makes her feel comfortable will leave a good impression and make her opinion of you rise.

Telling a girl about the plans before the date is not only good manners, but it helps her get ready. Since you’ve made the date plans, you need to provide her with the information. This allows her to figure out how formal the date is and what clothes, hair and makeup look best.

The other purpose of telling her the plans you’ve made is that she will see it as taking the lead. When you tell her the plan, do not ask if she approves. You’ve already asked before planning about things she likes, so you will know that the plan is appropriate for her preferences.

Women do not like when they are forced to take the lead. While some women might take leadership roles at work or in similar situations, in a relationship women will not try leading.

Pick Her Up

Offer to pick up your date. The appropriateness of picking up a first date varies depending on you and her. For some, your offer to pick her up will make her feel that you are taking the lead. Some women might turn down the offer, but don’t assume it means she does not like you.

For the first date, if she does not feel comfortable getting a ride, tell her when to meet you. Do not make any commentary about her not letting you pick her up. She might feel uncomfortable with the idea of not being able to go home on her own.

Use Good Hygiene

Clean up before going on the date. Good grooming is a vital part of first date etiquette, even for men. While a woman might overlook minor details, like imperfectly groomed finger nails or unmanageable hair that starts sticking up halfway through the date, she is not likely to overlook stains, tears in clothing, worn out shoes or not taking a shower before the date.

In general, the way you appear is the first impression you make on her. If you are not clean, dressed in clean and non-ripped clothing, have worn out shoes or didn’t take the time to try looking presentable, it sends a signal that you do not care about the outcome of the date. The first impression is then negative and you will find that she is harder to impress.
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Cleanliness and good grooming habits on a first date show that you respect her opinion enough to try looking presentable. Most women will overlook the small details that might not end up perfect provided you tried.

Easy on the Scent

Keep cologne or scents to a minimum. You should always use deodorant, but too much cologne or aftershave is always inappropriate. Keep the scents to a light mist if you decide to add a scent.

The main reason you want to avoid heavy cologne on the first date is due to potential allergies. Some women are allergic to perfumes, colognes or other fragrances. If you spray a large amount before the date, she might spend the date sneezing and coughing.

Another reason to avoid heavy drenching in smells is the fact that she might not like the scent or it might smell too strong for her taste. Keeping it light will avoid this particular eventuality while also allowing you to feel comfortable with how you smell.

Act Normal

Act in your normal manner. Being yourself during the first date not only shows that you are confident in yourself and that you know yourself, it also shows that you are not acting to make yourself look better.

Confidence is always more attractive than looking scared or intimidated. Women do not want to feel that they are somehow intimidating or scary.

get a girl to like you

One mistake that some men make on the first date is acting like someone else and thus coming off as unnatural or even a little feminine.

When you talk to a woman on the first date, look her in the eye and show her that you feel comfortable in your own skin. Avoiding eye contact can send one of two messages: either you are not interested in what she is saying or you are insecure. Both messages are not a good idea for a first date because you either makes her feel unimportant or you make her think that you are timid and feminine.

Topics of Interest

Talk about something interesting. A first date is not a job interview, so try to avoid making it into one. Skip questions about her family, school and job. Instead, talk about something you find interesting or discuss the latest episode of a favorite TV show.

Discussing something other than the usual “what school did you go to?” or “what is your family like?” will make you stand out on the first date. Also, avoid discussions about religion or politics on the first date. She might have a different opinion on the topics than you and starting an argument on the first date will make it turn out poorly.

Leave those discussions until you’ve gone on several dates and know each other well enough for it to stay a debate of different ideas rather than an argument.

Listen to Her

Listen to what she says. Women often talk more than men and as a result, the girl of your dreams will notice that you listen. If she runs out of things to say, ask a question.

While you do want to listen and she will likely talk more, make sure it is a conversation and not a one-sided monologue. Ask her questions to show that you listen and make comments when it is appropriate or makes sense. If you listen without saying a word, it will result in an awkward silence and the date will go downhill.

Get Her to Laugh

Get your date to smile or laugh. Smiling and laughing show that she finds you humorous and interesting. If she doesn’t smile or laugh throughout the entire date, it is a sign that she is either bored or not interested in what you are saying or doing.

The more smiles you receive from the girl of your dreams on the first date, the better the date is likely to turn out because if she smiles she is happy. If she smiles less, it is a sign that something is wrong and you need to fix it. For example, if you make a joke and she does not laugh, she probably didn’t find the joke funny and you need to determine why she found it less humorous.

Being Polite

Be polite. This not only extends to your date, but also to others around you. If you are polite to the wait-staff, hold open the door for that little old lady and act politely to your date, she will notice that you are a gentleman.

Good manners are always appropriate, particularly on the first date. This does not mean that you need to act ingratiated; instead, it means saying “please” and “thank you” when the situation calls for polite manners. If you take her to a baseball or football game, she will not expect you to act as politely as taking her to an expensive restaurant, so consider the situation before acting.

Respect Matters

Treat your date with respect. A woman will notice if you do not respect her as a person. In fact, she will find it offensive if you are disrespectful toward her. This means that if she tells you she dislikes something you are doing, stop doing whatever she dislikes. If she is talking, wait until she finishes her point or statement before commenting rather than interrupting what she says.

Little gestures of respect, such as not talking over her, will go a long way to making her like you and continue liking you.

If you are disrespectful, you will find that she might cut your first date short and never talk to you again. You are showing that she is not worth your admiration and that you do not value her as a person.

The woman of your dreams should be the type of woman that you feel is priceless and it is up to you to show her that you think she is important even from the first date.

End the Date the Right Way

End the date as appropriate for the situation. The appropriate ending of a date depends on several factors, such as whether you picked her up or whether she drove herself. If you picked her up, drive her home and walk her to the door. If she drove herself, walk her to her car.

Walking her to the door or her car is not only polite manners, but it also makes a woman feel safe and important. Showing that you care enough to see her to a safe location, such as her house or car, is a simple way to make her feel that you think she is special. It is also another gentlemanly display that she is likely to notice.

If you do not walk her to the door or her car, she will likely notice that as well. Not walking her to the door or car might leave a poor impression and make an otherwise perfect date turn sour in her mind. The last impression is almost as important as the first impression and you want to make the last impression count.

The other concern about the end of the night is about how to end the night. You should never shake her hand at the end of the night because it would make the date feel business-like.

Kiss or No Kiss

Whether or not you kiss your date depends on how you feel at the time and the girl’s reaction. For example, if the girl you took out seems uncomfortable or shy, do not press her for a kiss. Instead, tell her that you had a great time. If a girl seems uncomfortable with a kiss, but doesn’t seem to have a problem with you touching, a hug is sometimes appropriate rather than a kiss.

Second Date

Planning a second date on the first date is a good sign that she likes you well enough to keep dating you. In some situations, it is appropriate to make plans for the next date, particularly if you are sure that you want to keep dating her.

If you want to make plans, ask about it near the end of the date, but not at her front door or her car. Ask if she’s free within the next week. A second date can be as simple as getting a cup of coffee or another more formal date, depending on your preferences.

Following Through

Getting the girl of your dreams to like you only starts with getting noticed, asking her out and having a successful first date. While the initial keys to any relationship build on those first meetings, maintaining her interest is the only way for her to really start liking you.

If she gets bored by the second or third date or if you do not follow through, she might end up deciding that you aren’t the right guy for her or that her first impressions were wrong. You do not want the girl you like to decide that she was wrong to think she might like you. Instead, you want to follow through after the first date and show her that you really are likable and that her intuition about you was right.

Contact the girl after the first date. Maintaining contact is necessary for a second date. While some rules might suggest that it is better to wait a couple of days, if you really enjoyed the date, a woman will appreciate that you followed through immediately.

Asking for the Date

When you contact the girl, tell her that you enjoyed the date and ask if she is free within the next week on a day you are available. You can do this by sending a text message to her phone, sending an email or even talking to her on the phone or in person. This shows that you are still interested in her.

If she is free, ask her for a second date. For example, if you ask if she’s free on Tuesday around noon, ask her out to lunch. If you ask if she’s free on Saturday night, ask her out to a dinner and movie.

Talk to the girl you are interested in on the phone or in person. Regardless of whether she was free on the particular day or not, talking on the phone or in person keeps you in her mind. If you do not talk to her, she will start thinking that you are not actually interested or that you found her boring.

Women tend to over-analyze behaviors and look for their own faults. This means that if you do not talk to her afterward, she will wonder if she did something to offend you, was too boring for you or otherwise made you look for another girl. Following through by talking to her later will show that you still find her interesting.

When to Call for the 2nd Date

In general, you want to talk on the phone or in person within a few days of the first date so that the date is fresh in her mind. If you wait too long, she will question if she was wrong about those little details that made her feel special or if she put too much meaning on them. When she starts questioning, she will doubt those details and you might even need to start over.

Take her out again. This is the obvious follow through and is an important step to reinforcing her feelings. If you want her to really like you and not just have a passing interest that quickly fades to boredom, taking her out again will keep you in her mind.

As with the first date, you should plan all of the details in the second date. Leave discussing plans until later in a relationship when she feels comfortable talking about what you might or might not do on a date. As with the first date, this is a matter of showing that you are willing to lead her.

You should maintain the same respectful and polite behavior as the first date.

Make Her Feel Safe

Show the girl of your dreams that she is safe with you. Feeling safe, respected and special are important to getting a girl comfortable enough with you that she feels confident in her feelings. If she does not feel safe, she will not let down her guard enough to get comfortable.

Showing her that she is safe is as simple as walking her to her car or door after each date and picking her up. The other way you show that she is safe is by stopping when she tells you. For example, if you are tickling her and she tells you to stop, always stop. This shows that you respect her boundaries.

Final Thoughts and Tips

Getting a girl to like you is an involved task that takes time. It is like building up a camp fire. You start with small kindling in the form of making yourself confident and greeting her and then gradually build up the fire through the first date and follow through.

After you follow through with the date, you’ll find that you are reinforcing her feelings and making the fire grow.

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This page was last modified on 16 August 2013, at 23:19.
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