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How to Get Guys to Like You

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Want To Get Guys to Like You?

Perhaps you saw him across a crowded room or maybe you met him through mutual friends, but whatever the circumstances, you have finally met a guy that you really like. Yet, despite your own feelings, you aren't quite sure if he feels the same way. Maybe he is playing coy on purpose or you might be doing things that are already sabotaging your relationship before it even begins.

You can't make a guy fall for you if he is just not interested, but you can do things to help him along if he is so inclined. First, we will look at the psychology of how a guy approached a relationship and then reveal the little things you can do to make him like you... and the things that could make him drop you faster than a hot potato.

How Guys Think About Girls

Biologists have concluded that women have four times more neurons that connect the two hemispheres of their brains than men do. That does not mean that men are less intelligent than women are, but it does explain some of the difference between how men approach relationships versus how women approach relationships.

According to the theories of evolutionary psychology, men have adapted their behaviors to the desire to mate with as many females as possible. In our culture, most women typically want to be the one and only, so men have adapted that line of thinking into more monogamous lines. This does not mean that this hard wired behavior has been eliminated, it simply manifests in different ways.

Men Like to Hunt

For instance, men have evolved to be the hunters of the two sexes, which means they approach relationships like a hunter approaches his prey. Men want to chase and, like most other predators, they tend to pursue that which catches their attention, whether it is bright colors, a pleasing form, or even just an animal that runs from them. You might meet the rare man that thinks differently, but, in general, most men adhere to this line of thinking when it comes to relationships.

Based on this principle, men also have a tendency to play their hand close to the chest, leading women to wonder if he is even interested or if he is just leading them on. If you think about a man as a hunter again, man as predator isn't going to let his prey know that he chasing. In the wild, if a prey animal stops and looks back, the most wily predators will freeze or even hide. Doesn't that sound familiar?

How To Apply This To Relationships

If you think about a man as a hunter, you can easily see how to best grab his attention. A guy wants to chase, so make him chase you. If he shows even the least bit of interest, don't immediately hand him your heart gift-wrapped. He wants to win you, so make it a game. Don't always return his call the minute you receive it and let him think that you have interests outside of him and what he thinks. This not only makes you more attractive, but men like women that have multiple dimensions to them.

Of course, you don't want to play hard to get forever. After all, a man will only chase for so long before he starts to believe he will never catch you and so seeks out other prey to chase. Some men are more persistent than others, but nearly all of them will reach the breaking point where they simply give up on you. The key is knowing when to let yourself be caught. If you give in too early, your guy won't feel challenged by you. If you wait too long, your guy will get bored and move to more interesting prey.

How to Make Him Yours

So, now that we have an idea how the male mind works when it comes to attraction, how can you put that to work for you to gain his interest and make him like you? Here are a few tips to wake up his animal instincts.

Let him know that you are single

Sometimes, the only thing that keeps a man from pursuing you is the impression that you might belong to another. Letting him know that you are available lets him know that you are open to idea of being chased and that alone might spur his interest, especially if your lack of availability has been the only thing holding him back.

Make him notice you

Every guy is looking for something different in a woman. Some guys want a girl with a gorgeous face and a killer body. Others want a girl that is smart and not afraid to show it. Still others want a girl with a unique and daring personality. Once you know a little bit about him, you will know how best to attract his attention and the chase will begin. The key is to stand out from the crowd of other girls that might be in his life. If you do not seem like everyone else, he will want to know why.

=Hang out with him... but not too much.

The only way you are going to get to know him better is to spend time with your guy, get know his interests and let him see a few of your own as well. Yet, you don't want to spend every free second with him either. That makes him think that he has already caught you and if he hasn't developed stronger feelings for you before that point, he might get bored and find another girl to chase.

Be confident

Guys like confidence. After all, what is the fun in pursuing a girl that doesn't seem to like herself very much? For all that so many women don't seem to think men are very good at reading emotions, they are a lot more astute than some women might think. If you do not seem to like yourself very much, then he might wonder why he should.

Smile and make eye contact often

In some ways, guys are like girls in how they like to be treated. If they are with a girl, they want to feel like she is interested and engaged. If you look him in the eye, he feels like you are paying attention to him. If you smile, he feels like he has won some small victory. Also, despite all the hype about other body parts that engage guys' interest, many studies have proven that nothing attracts a man better than a fantastic smile.


Maintain an air of mystery

For many women, we cannot hear enough about a guy we like. We want to know what he likes, what he hates, what he had for breakfast that morning. The more information that we get, the more we fall in love and the more we want to know. For men, it works in the opposite direction. The less you share, the more they want to know. By offering little tidbits of information about yourself, your guy will be intrigued into coming around more often to find out more.

Catch the eye of another guy

It may seem counter-intuitive, but catching the eye of other guys is a sure way to get noticed by the object of your affection. This plays into the hunter and prey scenario. If your guy sees that other men want you, he will begin to pay you more attention. After all, he does not want another hunter to take his prey right out from under his nose! You can encourage this by subtly flirting, but be careful.

You do not want your guy to think you are the type to toy with his emotions or pursue other guys while trying to get him to like you as well. There is a fine line between seeming irresistible and easy. Guys want irresistible. They do not want a girl that doesn't offer a challenge.

Flirt with him

Despite the fact that men typically want to chase and not be chased, they don't want to think they are wasting their time with a girl that is not interested in them. If you flirt with him, it lets him know that there is something that you like about him and can be a subtle invitation for him to dig deeper and try harder to get to know you. Of course, you can overdo it with the flirting, but as long as you keep the tone light and do not go too far, you will just intrigue him that much more.

Give him compliments

The key to giving out compliments that your guy will appreciate is to make them rare, but genuine. Don't just give him compliments all the time. If he hears them all the time, he will start to devalue them. Make sure to only give him compliments if you really mean them. If you think he looks particularly good in a certain shirt, let him know. If you think he looks good in every shirt, you might want to tell him once and then let it go.

Develop some common interests

This is definitely not license to pretend to be interested in something that you hate, but if he has a hobby or interest that you think sounds intriguing or is something that piques your interest, then ask him some questions. He will love telling you all about his hobby and will give you a lot of extra attention simply in trying to explain it to you. Sharing a common interest or hobby also gives the two of you something to talk about and makes you seem that much more interesting to your guy.

How to Scare Him Off

Just as there are a number of things that you can do to catch a guy's interest and make him gradually more intrigued by you, there are also a number of actions you can take that will send him running for the hills. To avoid cooling off your hot romance, make sure not to do any of the following.

Do not be too clingy

Noting turns a guy off faster than a girl that will not give him any space to breathe. No matter how much you like him and want to spend every moment of the day with him, it is a bad move to try to insinuate yourself into every moment of your guy's life. At best, it makes you seem a little needy and desperate. At worst, you will come across as not having a life of your own.

Do not pretend

While pretending to be totally into your guy's video game hobby might make you seem interesting now, when the truth comes out that you can't stand video games, your guy is going to be less than impressed. Nobody likes a liar, and a guy that finds out that you have lied to him will feel betrayed and humiliated.

Do not play games

There is a fine line between playing the time honored game of chase with a guy that you are interested in and simply playing games with his head. Guys tend to be more predatory in relationships. If he feels like he is being preyed on, his interest is likely to evaporate. Also, just because men can hide their feelings better than a women can does not mean that he does not have feelings. You would be hurt and betrayed if a guy toyed with your feelings. So would he.

Careful With Sex

Sometimes sexual relationships do lead to genuine emotional attachments, but usually only in cases where either the couple has a great deal in common outside of the physical connection or they already had budding feeling before the sexual relationship began. Otherwise, having sex with a man with the intent on leading him into a relationship will only lead to unhappiness.

Also, if you have sex with a guy without feelings involved, you run the risk of having ruined the chance to ever get him to really like you. Most guys like the chase. If he thinks he has already caught you, why would he try to chase you again? Besides, you should only have sex because you want to, not because you think you can get something else out of it.

No Home Wrecking

If the guy you want is currently seeing someone else, back off. Not only is it disrespectful to his current relationship to try to pursue him, but if you do manage to separate him from his current girlfriend, why would you feel secure in your own relationship with him? After all, if you could take him from his current girlfriend, why couldn't another girl take him from you? If his current relationship is not meant to last, it will end naturally on its own and then you will have your chance. Otherwise, leave him alone and try to find someone new to like.


Easy on Details

Guys like a mystery. If you tell him every detail about your life too soon, you aren't giving him the opportunity to pursue you in his own way. Give him just enough information to tempt him, but don't give away all of your secrets too soon.

Keep it Quiet

Guys don't want to be pressured or hounded into doing something. That is the quickest way to lose his interest completely. The more he is nagged about you, the less he will feel compelled to want to spend time with you of his own accord. You want a relationship to happen organically, not because he was harassed into paying attention to you. If you like him, but aren't sure how he feels, keep your thoughts about him to yourself. Confide in a friend that you trust not to spread the information around, but don't broadcast your intentions to the world.

How to Tell If He Likes You

Unfortunately, many guys aren't very upfront about what they think of you. It goes back to the hunter versus prey theory. Men tend to be more reticent about their feelings towards a woman simply out of a wish to avoid exposing any weakness.

get a guy to like you

Yet, despite their best efforts, there are several obvious ways a man tells you he is already interested without saying word. Here are seven of the most common ways he will show his attraction and interest.

Decode his body language

If you notice that he leans towards you, especially if he tilts his shoulders and pelvis towards you when speaking, you have likely already made a major impression. Other tell tale signs include rarely turning his back to you and slouching his shoulders when near you. If your guys does any of these, that is big sign that he is really into you!

He teases you mercilessly

Just like in elementary school, if a guy teases you a lot, he is definitely interested. His teasing won't be mean or cruel, but more of an effort just to get you to laugh. Some guys will even playfully punch or tickle you as an indication of their affection, just like a little boy.

He can't keep his hands off you

If your guy often makes an excuse to touch you for any reason, whether he is brushing your hair off of your shoulder or nudging you in a specific direction, that is a big sign that he is already interested. For men, it is a subtle way of claiming you in the eyes of other men. He might just be the touchy feely type though, so watch his behavior with other girls. If he touches you in instances where he does not touch others, he is likely very interested in you.

He makes frequent eye contact

This is another of those key ways that your guy will obviously express interest in you. For shy guys, he may catch your glance and then look away quickly. For those that are a little bolder, he might catch your gaze and hold it, staring just a fraction longer than normal. An obvious tell is if he tells a joke or a story and quickly looks at you to gauge your reaction. If he is looking for your approval, he definitely likes you.

He mirrors you

It is said that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. When a guy imitates you in some way, it is a subtle sign that he is trying to be more like you in an effort to get you to like him. If your guy mimics your stance, posture, or the way you sit, he is definitely interested in you.

He acts nervous around you

Most guys want to play it cool, but when they get around a girl that they really like, many begin to act nervous. He may stumble over his words or fidget more than usual. If you notice that the guy you like begins to act anxious around you, it could be because he shares your feelings.

He shows off for you

Many guys, especially those with a good deal of confidence, will begin to show off to catch your attention and keep it on only him. He may tell a lot of jokes, try to engage you in subjects that he knows well to dazzle you with his knowledge, or he may even try to perform dangerous stunts. It may seem silly, but if a guy is hooked, he will do anything to keep you watching him.

The Final Word

There are a few very important things to remember when you are trying to get a guy to like you. First and foremost, you cannot force anyone to like you. Either the chemistry is there between the two of you or it is not. You may be able to manipulate someone into liking you by being someone you are not, but in the end, they don't like you. They like who you are pretending to be.

There are things that you can do to present yourself as available to the guy you like and to promote his interest and make yourself more attractive to him, but, at the end of the day, if he is meant to like you, he will like you. There is no tip or trick to make someone like you that genuinely does not.

Another thing to remember is to always be yourself, no matter what. You want him to like you, not a fake person. Cultivate your own interests and hobbies. Don't pretend to be something you are not. Not only will you seem more confident and genuine, two traits that most guys appreciate and desire, but you will also only attract the type of guys that are right for you. You want a guy that will complement your personality. You cannot get that if you are being anything other than what you genuinely are.

Final Tips on Men

Finally, you need to like yourself before you ever try to get someone else to like you. Liking yourself will give you the confidence to attract the guy you like to you. Also, if the object of your affections does not feel the same way about you, then it is much less hurtful if you already love yourself and think you are worthy of the affection of a good person. You need to believe you are awesome and your guy will come running to you if he is the right guy for you. After all, nothing is more attractive and interesting to a man that a girl that honestly likes herself.

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This page was last modified on 16 August 2013, at 23:27.
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