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Harry Potter and the Death of Harry Potter/12

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Chapter 12

Battle at Supermarket

THE GREETINGS WERE warm, although controlled. Mitch and Jet casually shook hands, exchanged the "what the hell have you been up to"'s, and Jet went on to receive more greetings from Niock and Oliezhik. Jet was led to Mitch's dormitory, where there were two extra beds, one could've been temporarily used by Jet. On the way they had inquired him about how he got here so fast, and Jet asked about what the hell was going on. They all did their best explaining.

As they approached the cafeteria, on the way to Mitch's dorm, Niock and Oliezhik left to seek their regular spots at the meal table. Mitch and Jet also went there after leaving Jet's pack in the dorm.

Jet received more greetings when they got to the table. Ax stood to propose a pre-meal toast. "To Jet using the best of his ability to help us capture Pukes!" Niock, Mitch, Oliezhik, and Jet naturally raised their glasses of whiskey, while Candy raised his Watermelon Splash can. Hanky preferred Maotai Spirits from China, but last time he got a serious headache after, so this time he raised his Sprite can, and in an attempt to fill for what he believed to be a failure previously, he drank the whole can with one big gulp. Malfoy was the one pouring all the drinks to his superiors, thus did not join in the toast. Seen and Robert simply sat and talked about computer games.

In a good-natured attempt to include Robert, Niock suggested, "Hey, Robert! Buy us fries!" Robert got up and went straight to the huge line, all waiting to purchase food. "Buy us fries," has been pretty much all Robert was known for at the Slytherin table. He usually obeyed to this, seeing how filthy rich he was. Everyone usually bought their own food from Potion 7, which was much more expensive but faster. The Anti-Magic Coalition made sure no one ran out of money.

Niock turned to the others, who were each talking in separate conversations, and said loudly, "I think to welcome Jet, and to have some fun before we get to the real serious part, we should turn that big-ass meeting into some party-type thing."

Mitch rejected, "How 'bout no. We got too much on our minds right now to party."

But Oliezhik liked the idea. "Shut up Chang, we can't be pressured like hell, I say we have the party."

"Who else likes the idea of a party?" Niock asked.

Everyone was silent for a while, but most of them smiling. Jet jumped in, "Yeah... let's have a party."

Mitch was frustrated at the fact that the overwhelming majority of the people were in favor of a party. He still wanted it his way, but made a different suggestion. "k... we can have a damn party, but it will only include the members of our gang and those losers that we need to discuss things with to find out shit about Pukes. We can party and discuss, as bad as that sounds. Oh and no chiks, remember last time?" Mitch was talking about the time when the party turned out wrong and almost the whole school crouded in the Slytherin common room, drinking beer, puking, making out, and nerds drinking potions and showing off their glowing eyes and unbearable foolishness. It all started with a small gathering organized by Candy. Dumbledore had a 65-minute lecture the next day regarding the ethics of partying and disallowed any such event to happen as long as he is the head of the school.

"Candy... you can organize it again." Niock said, basically an order, "This time well rent out that second-story conference center at the Potion 7."

"Ah... whatever." Candy said waving his arm with carelessness, but he knew that he had to do a good job in organizing such an important event.

"So Jet," Mitch said as Jet looked up, "Weren't you gonna try cooking that seafood-bitter melon combo thing?"

"Oh yeah. I gotta do that this time. You guys gotta all try it. It's good stuff. Bitter melon's really good for your Bachina, too."

Oliezhik jumped in, "And seafood's naturally good for arousing hormones!"

"Shut up, Oliezhik." Niock said.

Jet ignored the worthless comment by Oliezhik, and said, "I'll need to go to that Supermarket in Chinatown tomorrow and buy all this shit. Anyone wanna come?"

"And the Pizza man was calling, right? AND BOOM!!! He just shot at me, and I dodged and shot back with a minigun. Take that eh! EH!!!" Oliezhik said pointlessly. No one seemed to have any remote idea as to how this was related to the current topic of conversation. Oliezhik pretty much stopped talking for the rest of that day.

"I think you've been too much into computers and desocialized recently, Oliezhik." Mitch suggested, "You should go with Jet tomorrow to that Chinese Supermarket."

"Yeah fine." Oliezhik said as he suddenly turned towards the incoming large basket of fries. It was covered in a thick layer of ketchup, the fries barely visible. About five hands reached in the basket at the moment it was set on the table and got their hands smothered in ketchup seconds later. Each took a handful and set it in their own vicinity and began savagely stuffing the golden pieces of fried potato in their salivating mouths.

Jet was looking in a different directions, thus not knowing that the fries had arrived. He wouldn't have participated in this nonsense anyway. He asked, "Oliezhik, aren't you the Bachina master here?" Without hearing an answer immediately, he turned to Oliezhik's general direction, and saw his face covered in ketchup, and then saw a large handful being stuck in his mouth... then the unbearable chewing with mouth open. He turned to Jet, and with a mouth full said, "Fries!!! Such great fries!!!" while making a hand gesture at the handful in front of him still to be eaten.

Roughly twelve seconds after the fries arrived at the table, the basket was left with only grains of seasoning salt.

Robert ate a total of two fries.

Man, am I gonna work with this group of savage beasts? Jet thought, half seriosly, I wonder what could be more savage than this.

He was about to get an answer.


LOCATED IN CHINATOWN, the Da-kai Chun-fat Supermarket was the Sunday shopping destination of a rather large number of Asians. Today, this large number was increased even more, because the discounted bitter melons were at a one-year special price.

Jet and Oliezhik entered the supermarket through the East Entrance, and took some time to look on its walls, where a lot of people posted their miscellaneous advertisements -- selling bycicles, repairing computers, that kind of thing. One could tell the age of these unrestricted ads. One wrote: REPAIR COMPUTERS, TROUBLESHOOTING IN DOS. Another hardened pink piece of paper with krusty yellow circles wrote: FIND MY DOG AND CLAIM THE REWARD -- A DOG.

Passed this wall of advertisements was the seafood section, filled with people roaming about. The place was noisy and the stench of rotten seafood filled the air. Oliezhik was used to this because he had tried all different sorts of food, and gotten used to pretty much any smell. Jet, however, detested this odour.

Passed the seafood section was the "fresh vegetable" section of the store. The floor was very badly cleaned, with brownish water here and there with stepped-on green and yellow leaves that cannot be avoided. The people that filled the narrow aisles made it much worse. Most of them were very poorly dressed, the type that seemed to come from the southeast asian countryside. They spoke at least five different tongues, the ones that Jet recognized anyway.

At the corner of the vegetable section was the Sunday Special line-up. There were about fifty people, big and small, old and young, lined up for their turn to take the bitter melons, which were in storage behind a gate. The gate opened when several melons were packaged and hand delievered to the next in line. The line moved horribly slow.

"k, Jet, let's get a spot in the line." Oliezhik suggested.

Jet and Oliezhik moved in and waited patiently. Oliezhik took his time to attentively stare at the few attractive Asian girls around the place. Jet was just frustrated with the long wait.

Ten minutes passed, and by the length of the line Jet guessed they were probably fourtieth in line by now. Jet grew tired of waiting, and punched Oliezhik on the shoulder. Oliezhik seemd to be unphased however, still being mesmerized by the nice ass of a young woman that just walked by, eyes wide open and no blinking.


Oliezhik suddenly realized everything he had forgotten while staring, shook his head violently for a second, then mumbled something. "Wha huh? what?!"

Damn this is hopeless, Jet thought. "Oliezhik, we need to get the bitter melons. I'm not gonna be waiting another damned hour here."

"Why the hell do we have to wait in line for some bitter melons?"

"'Cause these things are in very short supply."

Two arrogant business executive-types dressed in black suits walked out of the gate. They stood outside of it for a while, like they were waiting for something. Afterwards all Jet could see was a crowd of people rushing towards the opening gate with their hands stretched, poised to grab something, like people in Africa waiting for UN food rations. Even people behind him in line were rushing towards the gate. Then Jet and Oliezhik moved closer, and they saw a box loads of bitter melons on a large cart. One of the guys in suits appeared to give an order, and several large muscular beast-like men came out, sealed the cart, and pushed as many people out of the way as they could. They were headed to Jet and Oliezhik.

At the gate there was an annoucement, all bitter melons had been ordered at a special price, and no longer open to sale. Both Jet and Oliezhik assumed, safely, that the loads of it being carried away were all that was left and "ordered" by the guys in suits.

"No way I'm allowing these bastards to take away all of this Bachina!" Jet said.

"Let's go grab some." Oliezhik said as he was about to leap into the air.

Jet grabbed Oliezhik's shoulder, and said, "Wait, wait until their outside."

Through the nearest exit, the cart was pushed away to a rear alleyway, followed by the guys in suits who rudely locked the door behind them, leaving a raging crowd yelling insults. Jet pushed his way to the exit and looked back at Oliezhik, who was still at the back of the pack, looking the other direction at another attractive girl. Jet yelled his name, and within the yelling crowd Oliezhik thought he heard something about him, and then saw Jet looking towards him. The girl had walked away, so he leaped in the air towards the exit. But his Bachina was not concentrated, because much of his mind was still focused on the passing girl, and his leap did not get him far enough, as he fell on top of the sea of people.

Jet noticed the helpless situation. He concentrated on Bachina and broke the door with his iron hands. Good thing Bachina, unlike magic, actually works in the real world. He stepped out, but was followed by the sea of people already rushing faster than him. Jet ran towards the guys in suits at record time, and made a few flips in the air to block their paths.

The one in sunglasses stared at Jet with a smirk. The other two simply walked another direction and ignored him. Suddenly he noticed Hanky at the main entrance, who waved at him. He signaled for Hanky and yelled, "Get over here! Stop these bastards from taking the melons!"

Hanky was here to buy Chinese Jello for the party, and was very eager to enter the store, but saw this as perhaps a chance to be heroic. He used an unnecessary spin-kick nowhere near the guys in suits and then attempted to walk on a wall, which failed considerably as he fell before he was halfway up and injured his ankle.

Fuck this is hopeless, Jet thought, I'll have to handle this myself. And he did a good job of it.

"Hand the melons over, you bastards!" Jet yelled. Hell, screw this, Jet thought, and leaped and kicked the guy holding the cart in the stomach, who immediately fell on the ground with the wind knocked out. The other two were a bit more difficult, as they ganged up on Jet with fairly amateur martial arts. It took Jet about five chops to knock out one guy, and the last guy took some kicking until he was totally knocked out. But the job was done, nonetheless, and Jet felt good as he grabbed about 10 bitter melons and stuffed them in bags. Then he noticed the crowd, now surprisingly silent, some with traces of awe in their eyes at what they have just witnessed.

Jet thought of this bit of bending his fingers a routine, but it made an out-of-this-world impression for the crowd. Jet looked over and shouted towards their direction, "Come and claim your melons!" and leaped out of the alleyway and out of sight, without saying another word.

Then, towards the cart of four hundred some fresh bitter melons waiting to be digested, came the large crowd...

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This page was last modified on 4 February 2009, at 05:08.
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