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Harry Potter and the Death of Harry Potter/19

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Chapter 19

Water Torture

TO MITCH'S DELIGHT, whatever could be left of it, Gar and Jeet appeared like they couldn't move.

"Kid what the fuck?" Jeet cursed. The maggots still crawled.

"What happened here, Jeetu?" Mitch asked, fearing the worst.

"Someone went on shitting for the whole night. Me and Gar came to visit Oliezhik, and shit is all over us."

Mitch searched his mind for something to get rid of the maggots and the smell. He couldn't find any magic tricks he knew that could do the work directly. He suddenly saw a Frebreze bottle on Oliezhik's bed. He went over, grabbed it, only to find it completely empty. He gagged again, this time letting out some air and spit. Jeetu and Gar looked at Mitch, confused as ever.

Mitch sought for a temporary solution, making a magic plastic bubble and wrapping Jeetu and Gar in them. Gar fell down, Jeetu still stood.

"What the fuck man?" Jeetu complained, tried to break out.

The plastic wraps eased the smell for a bit. Mitch took in a normal breath. It was still ridiculously difficult seeing Oliezhik's puke and his head basking in it. Oliezhik slowly moved himself away from it, probably unconsciously. The room looked like it had been invaded sometime during the night. Surely Oliezhik could not have done this all by himself. Shit in its literal form has usually been associated with Snape, and Oliezhik's texts suggested so. But how did Snape enter? And even if he did, how did Oliezhik not know how to deal with him? How did he keep down the noise? Did Snape poison him? Or was it something that really bothered him, that caused him to have another binge booze run? He saw no alcohol bottles, nothing that resembled that drink Hanky had shown everyone. What could it be?

Mitch magically put a plastic glove on his hands, and went over to Oliezhik to flip him over.

Gar and Jeetu were still struggling inside their hard plastic wrappings.

Oliezhik slowly opened his eyes, not fully, but so much that he could see. "Chang, man. Guh'mornin" He said, hoarsely.

"Oliezhik, what happened?"

"uh... Snape." Oliezhik puked out some more stuff. "I feel like absolute shit".

Caught in the panic, Mitch went outside into the hallway and immediately grabbed the fire hose. While he was at it he also grabbed a first aid kit. He rushed back into the room, only to discover that Jeetu has struggled outside of the wrapping.

"Jeetu, man. Please just cooperate with me for a second. This is frustrating."

"Fuck you!" Jeetu bursted back, "Man, I'm going to India tomorrow, come with me!"

"Fuck Jeetu, so much weird shit has been happening. Just please. I'll come with you after all this shit is taken care of." Mitch said in a very frustrating tone. "Jeetu, have you seen Niock lately?"

"Don't know what's happening, probably still asleep." Jeetu said as a bunch of maggots crawled outside of his pants.

"Could you do me a favour, seriously, and go get Niock to wake up? We need to head to the transfer portal today for the Fantasy World."

"Fuck man, come to India."

"Jeetu! Just fucking go!" Mitch blew his fuse.

"K you're such a spaz". Jeetu left, still not taking anything seriously.

"Give me a fucking call when you get to Niock!" Mitch yelled as Jeetu disappeared.

Mitch flipped through the first aid kit and tried to look for the poison meter. The meter was useful for both conventional toxicology and magical poison. He wrapped Oliezhik's wrist with a band, and inserted a meter.

The display said "NULL". Mitch moved it around for a bit. The display stayed constant. No poisons could be detected.

On Oliezhik's computer Mitch could hear a female voice saying "base is under attack". Starcraft, Mitch thought. When will he stop?

Mitch next brought in the firehose. He sprayed the entire room, getting Oliezhik's bed inevitably wet. The smell now eased off quite a bit. He sprayed the desks, and by his dresser. Changed the pressure, he sprayed some more. He ran off again to get a vacuum cleaner, came back, and sucked in all the shit in its flowy pieces from all over the room. Water was everywhere. Mitch then directed his attention towards Oliezhik's clothes, and sucked in a lot of the puke. He could not suck in everything, but he tried his best.

Garmeeto Par had stopped struggling. He had fainted due to lack of air.

Mitch put down the equipment and shoved Oliezhik again in an attempt to get him up. "Get up Oliezhik!"

Oliezhik was less than enthusiastic at the prospect. "Chang... Snape came here last night. He spilled shit all over... the room... and ..."

"And what? Why are you puking?"

"Snape used a dark art... he tied me up with magic vines... and stuck crayons down my throat..." He gagged once more.

"I heard that gives you AIDS." Mitch said. "I'll go get you some watermelons from Jet. He should be able to get you healed pretty fast. We need to get moving man. We don't have too much time."

"No... Chang, man. Don't wait on me. Just go." Oliezhik's eyes were still closed.

"Oh don't do this to us Oliezhik. We need your Bachina."

"Just go... seriously... I don't want to keep you guys here."

"Oliezhik... just think about it logically... I'll get some bitter melons, you get better, we depart after a good, hearty lunch with the gang. We have to have you there, you do not have a choice."

"Chang, I seriously feel like shit... I can't go."

Mitch knew the efforts were worthless. Oliezhik tended to skip out on things when they were the most important and needed him there. What could he do? Maybe he'll get the whole gang here to convince him later. He'd tell Jet to bring some bitter melons.

His feet felt itchy. He noticed a maggot now climbing up his leg. He killed it with some Bachina. Then he left the room, still pondering why Snape would come to Oliezhik.

He went next door to Song's room to check if it happened there as well. He knocked, but no one answered. He turned the knob, but it was locked. Then he proceeded to the next door - Big Ax. It had no answer either. Next was Niock's room. Mitch thought a bit before turning the knob, because he never knocked at Niock's door. He spent most of his time in Niock's room anyway.

The door swung open, but all was silent. Mitch peeked inside, and managed to call out "Niock". No answer. A few packed suitcases were on the floor with the zippers still not fully closed. The bed, for once, was made. This was new. The fact Niock had not replied to any texts was weird, but Mitch thought maybe his cell was just not receiving. Although this is obviously uncharacteristic of him, he probably just went to breakfast early in preparation for the day. After all, he did have the marker and he got mad even at Oliezhik for taking it. This showed that Niock was more than serious about this matter.

He headed to the guest room to find Jet.


D ENTERED TORTURE chamber No. 2 with his two cronies, Jay-jay and Chunny, one to each side, all in their ceremonious robes. D was a midget compared to Jay-jay who was rather tall, and Chunny was also a few inches taller than him. But D preferred wearing platform shoes to make himself feel more secure. D walked like he owned the place, which he did, and Jay-jay and Chunny were still both smiling.

No. 2 was filled with mostly water-torture machines. Tanks, taps, tubes, and liquids of all different colours were everywhere. They are the fusion of Jay-jay's creativity and Chunny's ingenuity. In the middle of the room lay a burning fire stick, sticking out of a cannon-like device. This was the place the two spent "blowing shit up", as they called it, when they had spare time.

Seen Action, Big Ax, and Robert were all wrapped in a polyester bag crudely tied around their head, and a large rope put around to tie them to a big steel bar linked to a nearby water torture device. Candy was still asleep even though he was tied on a stick as well. His, though, was wooden. D really didn't care if Candy was captured or not. It seemed like the guy wouldn't even react if he was tortured, taking all the fun out of it.

D went over to a control panel, overlooking the large dungeon whose air smelled cold but moist, and footsteps echoed. All constrained to their bars, Seen Action was shaking and wished, for a moment, for him to be "fucking hot", temperature wise. Big Ax was was indignantly staring at the two cronies, seeing which one looked more like they were going to carry things out and devising plans. Robert felt numb and his heart was trying to escape his throat. His worst fears were unfolding right in front of him.

"My dear friends," D said as he pressed a button to raise the device so now all four faced D's ugly face. Jay-jay and Chunny removed the polyester bags, but ensured the mouths were still gagged. They could see D, but they could not talk. "You may not know me. But you know about your friend Plankistan. You know about Moron Pukes. You know about your friend Hanky's disappearance. You know about Harry Potter's disappearance. Today I am holding you in hostage to lure your gang leaders here to walk into their own death trap. I hope you enjoy my company. You will not be disappointed."

Of the four, only Seen Action wanted to shout at him, even if in vain. He could not. His mouth was still gagged. He knew he would only look like an idiot if he tried to talk. He tried to think of magic tricks to get away. Jet would come and teleport all of us. He knew. He was still shaking. Robert had just fainted from being so afraid. Jay-jay promptly poured icy cold water all over his face to wake him. Ever after he was conscious again Jay-jay did not cease the rush of water. The feeling was the worst torturous feeling Robert has ever had. The cold was crawling up his veins and he was shaking like crazy. His heart still beat like he was going to die.

"You want to die, don't you?" Jay-jay asked Robert.

Robert still shook his head.

Jay-jay looked at D, who had a smirk on his face and nodded slowly. He then looked at Chunny, who looked eager. Jay-jay went and pushed a red button, bringing Robert's ass directly above that of the "blowing shit up" machine in the middle of the room.

"Everything will be just fine," Jay-jay said as he picked up a syringe and removed the section of the bar that was meant to protect Robert's ass. He stabbed the syringe into Robert without mercy. "Just fine..." Chunny poured another bucket of cold water synthesized by Jay-jay's magic in Robert's pelvic region. The feeling was so strong Robert had no choice but to screech with his gag in mouth. Suddenly, too, he felt his head region throbbing with pain and a terrible heat. He was experiencing a Canadian winter and a Saharan summer at the same time, that's what it felt like.

Jay-jay threw away the syringe and put on some slick black leather gloves. He pulled a lever, moving Robert's ass a few meters above the the projectile's path. He then took out a matchbox and lit a match. He moved slowly towards the fuse.

"Don't be scared, Robert." Said Chunny. "Everything will be just fine."

The area started sparkling with a fiery red, and the fire continued to increase in its radius. Jay-jay felt the heat.

Suddenly, after a loud bang, the projectile, a large, piercing black rocket with a sharp end, shot right into Robert's ass. Robert moved up with it but was kept down by the ropes that still tied him tightly around the steel bar. He winced twice, while Jay-jay shot pressurized cold water out of his jelled hair. Chunny paced aside, looking at Seen and Big Ax's looks of sheer terror. Candy finally woke up, looked down at the thing sticking outside of Robert's ass, and was wondering why pressurized water was coming out of this guy's hair in front of him. Then he realized he was gagged and tied up. He had no thoughts regarding what has unfolded. He just looked around.

"Be good to us or else you will all become shit we blow up!"

"Engage in phase two!" Jay-jay said right after the pressurized water ceased. By this time Robert was unconscious for good. Chunny brought over a cauldron of a red, bubbly liquid. The cauldron had "Yidoobs", an ancient and deadly brand of poison, written in ancient Greek-looking font on the front. Seen Action closed his eyes. Big Ax looked away, for the first time in his life feeling insignificant. They could only imagine what was going to happen next. Candy went back to sleep.

Slowly but surely, Jayjay took out his magic marshmallow water gun, sucked in some Yidoobs to the pressurizing chamber, and when the water level reached a certain height, he directed it at Robert, and shot at all four of his limbs in succession. Before their eyes, Robert's limbs began to melt away. While this was happening Chunny lowered the steel stick level to the fire burning beneath. After removing the projectile machine, Robert's incomplete body was lowered onto the fire itself, while Jayjay pulled a lever on the cauldron, pouring the bubbling Yidoobs on Robert. Chunny then brought over a large samurai sword and sliced off Robert's head as if he was slicing apart tofu.

Grabbing it by the hair, Chunny placed Robert's head in a jar of light blue preservative liquid. To Seen Action's fear, it already had "Robert Harding" written across it. Jayjay then brought a collection of jars and held it up for Seen Action and Big Ax to see. It had both of their names written on it. "Be good to us," Jay-jay said, "Or taste the Yidoobs yourself."

D was watching the event with glee behind his control panel. He wanted to skin these guys alive, but right now he had more important matters to take care of.

"Gentlemen," D called as Jay-jay and Chunny immediately directed their attention to D.


"Hanky Panky is still waiting for us in Chamber Number 4. We need to go talk to him. Please, come and join me."

"Yes sir." The two replied in unison again.

D had already began walking out, but suddenly he turned around and pointed at Seen and Big Ax. "Jay-jay, lower them in the freezing water before we leave. Let them taste what it's like to be sterile."

"Sir, do you want to use the Freezer burn 400? Or the Ass-destruction Water Gar?"

"I do not care. Just do it."

"Yes sir."

"Let's use the Water Gar," Suggested Chunny.


Seen Action's life flashed before his eyes.

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This page was last modified on 4 February 2009, at 05:03.
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