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Harry Potter and the Death of Harry Potter/5

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Chapter 5

The Plan

HARRY IS A MORON. He woke up in the morning trying to be gay with Ron. Harry no longer had any friends, other then Dobby. The rape attempt was unsuccessful, so he decided to try to get set for a Quidditch game, for sure to be interrupted by Niock's gang.

The sad thing is, though, Harry has found other ways to make friends. Kurtious Hamter is one of those friends. Kurtious is a first year student at Hogwart's and is an idiot. Before the start of the game Kurtious had asked Harry to "go do something tonight...", the meaning remains ambiguous.

Another student on Harry's Quidditch team is the proclaimed King of the team: Jeetu Janitor. He once mutated a broom into a piece of crap and was pretty much there for the comical relief as opposed to any real Quidditch skills. He just didn't give a crap about this magical shit, he just wanted to have fun. He got pretty good at doing it.

Jeetu knew about the preliminary plans to beat Harry; He wanted to participate in the beatings, But he did not want to get in trouble. Professor Snape especially hated his way of having fun, but he was now trapped in a toilet, desperately tryong not to eat the floating pieces of crap, so Jeetu had more comical freedom.


FEW OF THE LATE arriving fans at the Quidditch game had expected a huge uproar when Niock and the rest of the Slytherin team made a flashy entrance onto the Quidditch arena.

Niock, and his team were disgusted by the idea of riding brooms, for they thought they were gay, and were afraid of getting sacked. Niock decided to use a Yamaha? Golden Par?, a small and maneuverable, yet powerful electronic flying machine. As the first one to enter, Niock gave waves to the cheering fans, more so too the Girls he believed were hot.

The rest of the Slytherin house followed on their Yamaha? Steel Par?s, which were like Niock's Golden Par?, but smaller and more maneuverable. they were also less expensive and powerful.

Big Axe Alder had to use a very special device, the Yamaha? Gigaplex-Par?. This special device is heavily armoured and is used to keep Ax alive, and still allow him to play Quidditch

For pre-game fireworks, Niock stopped his robotic flyer and shot a few 3-D stars into the sky that turned into fireworks. The fireworks lead to even more cheering amongst the crowd.

In clear contrast, the entrance of Potter's team was pathetic beyond belief. Garmeeto, Jeetu and Moron Pukes had reluctantly flown in the air while Harry was still struggling to get up his old-styled and low-level broomstick, last used to stick Snape down a toilet. Moron and Jeetu were ashamed of Harry's presence on their team. They secretly planned for revenge. Garmeeto was being stupid, and just looking at the end of his broom.

Dobby just simply couldn't watch his master/partner struggle. But he could do little. As the crowd began booing and hissing loudlym Dobby made a hasty retreat into a corner, only to be laughed at by spectators in that area.

Mitch Chang saw the first oppurtunity to strike. "How 'bout we bash Pothead right now?"

"Nah... we should wait, this is funny." Niock rejected.

After eight to nine failed attempts, Harry finally got on the broomstick. He forgot how to fly it. Oliezhik used his powerful Bachina to lead Potter towards his teammates, feeling slightly sorry for the fact that Harry can't do shit.

Jeetu Janitor, however, couldn't have cared less. He shot Harry with yet another lightning bolt. His excuse being he was aiming for an annoying fan in the stands. Harry screamed in pain, yet he was kept on the broom by Oliezhik's Bachina.

Henry Banks, known to most of the Slytherin players as Hanky, entered the arena last because he woke up late this morning. He was riding on his matrix ping-pong paddle as he bursted out in sudden laughter at Harry's injuries. Hanky was a devoted Slytherin Quidditch player. He possessed some real fake-martial arts skills.

As Harry stopped jerking (not that kind of jerking!) and the full roster of Slytherin gathered, everyone knew the game was about to begin.

Jeetu had requested captaincy of the Gryffindor team and had gotten it, seeing how the referee despised Harry. Jeetu grabbed the captain's armband and magically picked out a microphone from it. He tested it by tapping a few times to make sure it works, then he began.

"We, the Quidditch team of the House of Gryffindor, hereby forfeit the game about to take place, due to the fact that we have no good/enough players, no chance of winning, and we have Harry on our team, which further destroys the greatness of it" Jeetu declared.

Most of the crowd gaped in awe. The loudest rejection came from those idiots who wasted 1500 Euros betting on the results of the game as a Gryffindor victory. Most of these were muggles, who were allowed into the arena only because Niock wanted them there.

Jeetu continued, "Furthermore, team member Pothead will plead to become a life-time slave serving the Slytherin hous. Failure to agree to this would lead to Harry being subjected to a life of a beatings."

"I never agreed to this!" Harry yelled at the direction of Jeetu.

"Yes, you agreed while you were haveing one of you dreams of gayness. Hell... you didn't have to." Jeetu reasoned. After a short pause due of Harry's inability to come up with good comebacks, Jeetu continued, "Kid, you wanna fight?"

"I know you are, but what am I?" Harry replied.

About ten meters away Mitch & Oliezhik laughed with disbelief at Harry's failure to muster an actual comeback.

Garmeeto Par, whose eyes were focused on the end of his broomstick for the majority of this time, finally joined in the conversation. "I think Harry deserves better treatment..." Garmeeto said in a spooky, nerdy voice. "Under the United Nations Charter to Protect Children, Section 7, article 26..."

"Would you mind shutting up? Cause that would save you a hell of a lot pain." Niock interrupted rudely.

Jeetu simply despised know-it-alls. Before Garmeeto could start talking again he turned Garmeeto's mouth to a vagina. The crowd laughed and cheered. After a few seconds, more cheers of "Fry Harry! Fry Harry!" resurfaced.

Both Niock and Mitch now realized how ignorant they were when planning these beatings. Had they known that the Gryffindor team was going to be doomed by their own sheer stupidity, well, and Jeetu, they wouldn't have bothered to plan everything that they did.

Several clouds began moving in from the west. There was a trace of lightning in one of the larger clouds. Everyone began to realize that this was not in the forecast.

But neither was what was about to happen to Harry.

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