Log in Page Discussion History Go to the site toolbox

Harry Potter and the Death of Harry Potter/7

From BluWiki

Chapter 7

The Funeral

TWO DAYS AFTER the infamous Quidditch pre-game incident, life was far from normal at Hogwarts. This was especially true for Oliezhik, who spent twenty hours the past day trying to heal Ax and Hanky of their respective injuries. He had succeeded somewhat with his Bachina. Hanky was no longer in real pain and Ax can walk without much trouble now.

Oliezhik had just tucked himself under the comfortable blankets in his dorm. He was about to drift off into dreaming, but his alarm clock set for five-thirty rang.

Draco Malfoy was the alarm clock placement guy in these dorms. For Oliezhik, who often slept in, he'd always place the alarm clockwhere Oliezhik wouldn't see it. And these damned things rang for an hour straight.

"Dammit!" Oliezhik mumbled as he turned on a light. Where the hell was it today?

Often he would simply call Malfoy to shut the thing off. But he was tired of seeing the damned face every morning.

He finally located the alarm clock in the pocket of one of his formal shoes. This had suddenly reminded him that formal wear was required for the day. Today was like no other. It was this day that Plankistan would be laid to rest.


MITCH CHANG HAD never liked coffee, but during his stay at Hogwarts he had little choice. Plus it mysteriously improved his Bachina for the day to come. So like most other mornings, he sat at the fancy table and began smearing some butter on his toast, waiting for the arrival of some people.

Big Ax Alder was the first Slytherin to enter a cageteria that was just beginning to fill with people. Draco Malfoy followed not too far behind, but he was ignored.

Ax sat down at the table with some coffee and looked at Mitch. "Mornin' Mitch."

"Hey Ax, how's the injury?"

"Fine. Oliezhik's Bachina really helped. So when are we leaving?" Ax asked.

"When all the lazy-asses are here and finished eating. Maybe six, six-ten kinda thing." Mitch replied.

They were to leave Hogwarts early to prepare the scene for a grand scale funeral -- that of Plankistan.

Most Slytherin team members had volunteered to go prepare. Song was still busy with his 3-day shift at the automobile facility and couldn't make it.

The funeral was to take place in a remote town two hours north of Edinburgh, Scotland. It had the combined effect of both the magical and real worlds, and was sealed off for the day solely for the funeral service. The permit was granted by the Government of Scotland.

They were to arrive there by plane, taking a special chartered flight from London Gatwick. The rest of the gang attending the service, like Dumbledore's team, preferred the less efficient and old-styled, fireplace and running-through-walls travel method. This, in reality, costs them three hours of their lives when they're stuck in a wormwhole with only a 92% chance of getting to Scotland and not ending up in some temporary fantasy world. Furthermore, it was more harmful to the body than drinking two glasses of tar. But they preferred the magic and the thrill, and just didn't care.

At six-twelve AM, Oliezhik arrived in the Cafeteria. His tie was obviously backwards and in two terrible knots. His shirt was inside out and hadn't entered the laundry for two weeks. He savagely stuck some break in his mouth and drank his coffee like a teenager drank water after a hard work-out. But at least he was here, and ready to get on with the business of the day.


THE GRAVESTONES WERE neatly laid in rows, some had a degree of horror to them, and they attracted some stares from Niock and Mitch.

Past the front graveyard was a hall of crematory urns. Set up for the people who preferred to be cremated. The hall was there on a grand scale, with silvery stairs leading in and out. Past the hall, everyone took a deep breath and walked into some big, haunted-looking gate.

As the gate eeriely closed behind the entourage, another one opened. Everyone walked through. THey were all silent for the most part, uttering something like "man... scary shit." here and there, but otherwise silent.

The weather was sunny, but later several large clouds covered the sun's rays, making the site look real dark.

Through a narrow pathway with trees lined neatly nearby came a wide seating area. The chairs were scaterred, some tipped over as if it had been through an earthquake. There was already prospect for work aorund the area to make the place look nice.

Everytone was assined something to do. From arranging chair to putting accessories on the currently empty coffin. Dumbledore and his early entourage would take Plankistan's corpse to the funeral site at twelve noon. The services were scheduled to start at seventeen minutes after noon, symbolizing Plankistan's age.


PERHAPS A CLEVER prankster, some inconsiderate moron, or Moron Pukes had managed to sneak a couple cases of Watermelon Splash(R) in Candy Jennings' mountain backpack.

Candy himself, gulping it for a while, had not noticed anything wrong until several people began staring at his break-time beverage. After Candy had noted he was drinking a Watermelon Splash, however, he checked the half-full glass bottle of splash on the concrete ground, breaking the glass, and yet again reminding everyone of the gruesome scene at the Quidditch incident.

When the reminders came, so did the grievances, the silence, the memories, the regret and the strong will of revenge.

Things were made worse as Plankistan's photo was put up amidst a white backgrop behind the podium. And by the tiem Plankistan's body entered the coffin at noon, tears began falling.

Plankistan was fully dresed in a black suit and blue tie. His head sown back together after several failed attempts. It didn't look all that bad. He had a whig on, though, to minimize his otherwise beastly looks.

Not even five minutes after their morning labour hours, the Slytherin gang had to settle in their seats for an emotional service. THey didn't have lunch -- and Bachina energy boosts, like most other magical things, worked pitifully outside of the magical world. So the hunger stayed, but perhaps it was worth it, paying tribute to Plankistan.

At precisely 12:17 PM the body of Blake Stanley Markato IV entered the main seating area, hoisted by his brother George, his childhood friends Louis Credon, Zhemo Lupapa, and Clyde Mingles, his cousin Fred and the representative of Hogwarts, Professor Dumbledore. His coffin was laid in the center area below the podium.

Mitch Chang was the main speaker at the funeral, and started off by asking family members to speak. Most hesitated. His father had no choice but to represent the family.

For about three minutes in total Blake Markato, III, or "Komistan" as people calel dhim, emotionally put in a few tearful remarks. People felt sorry for the 42-year-old, already losing his daughter Mary to weird magical spells. The actual words of his speech had little meaning.

Next to speak was Professor Dumbledore, who continuously apologized for a student's recklessness in using magic. He vowed to track down Moron Pukes as soon as possible and then try him under the Essex Magical Court for Capital Muuder, violation of magical attacks and public mischief. His words didn't show it, but in reality Bumbledore couldn't have cared less about this since his son was recently caught in an affair with a first-year and that would no be good for his publicity. It was only informed to him this morning but covered up because people were worried more about Plankistan.

Mitch Chang was to speak next with the official eulogy that was to fit a movie in the background on Plankistan's life. This featured computer presentation was prepared by Oliezhik, who slapped something together at three last morning. It obviously didn't fit the dramatic eulogy as Oliezhik loaded the wrong song for the starting theme -- "Butterfly" from Dance Dance Revolution.

"Ai-ai-ai, where's my Samurai..." "Blue Black and White, are the colors in the sky..." "Ai-ai-ai I'm your little butterfly..."

The annoying tune of some anime-type music created a niosy and unbearable environment for those who were here to send away Plankistan. Oliezhik hated himself. The song was in a continuous loop that made several people plug their ears. Oliezhik finally rose from his seat like he had waited two hours to go to the washroom. He went behind the white backdrop and stopped the movie altogether, which seemed to calm everyone down.

Feel pity, though, for Oliezhik. Eighteen hours of Bachina consumption, release and healing had left him tired and battered. He could hardly keep awake. Mitch Chang's euilogy made it worse.

For about twenty-six minutes Mitch rambled on and on about Plankistan's accomplishments during his life -- his straight A's, his Quidditch trophies, his friendliness, compassion and devotion. Blah... blah... By the end Mitch himself was speaking in monotone. The only people who listened were everal of Plankistan's close relatives. Oilezhik was dozing off in his chair, had been for about fifteen minutes now. But thankfully, he was in a corner and did not attract too much attention.

Niock listened in a different way. The biggest problem with this eulogy was the fact that it missed the point. It did not have its intended effect of making people cry and grieve, it bored some, and above all, it described Plankistan's life in a plain and all-positive manner that no one really cared about.

Niock knew, that the reason they were all here enthusiatically at seven in the morning to prepare for a funeral was not because Plankistan was a great friend. Plankistan had often had serious diafreements with Niock and Mitch. It was not because he possessed real special powers that no one else possessed. But in reality, it was because he happened to be the unfortunate teammate to get fatally struck by a mortal enemy's attack. Niock knew everyone had from that moment on, a deep will of revenge against Moron Pukes. Well, maybe not Candy Jennings, but Candy will kill Moron for fun.

By the thirtieth minute of Mitch's monotone talking, Niock gave a frustrated stare at Mitch, as if to tell him, "yeah, we get the damn point, now let me say something important."

Mitch got the message. He concluded his eulogy by asking everyone to do the three magical Funeral Salutes. "Let our dear friend Plankistan forever rest in peace." He said, "For a final acknoledgement before the ceremony of sendoff, Ani Oaock Frederick would like to pay a special tribute to Plankistan. I invite him to the podium."

Niock walked up the podium with determination. He quickly calmed everyone's fears of another half-an-hour long speech by saying, "I'll keep it brief." He noticed from the podium that Oliezhik had suddenly awoke and quickly sat upright in his chair.

"People, listen!" Niock yelled into the microphone. "Especially those of your on the Slytherin Quidditch team! Listen up! We have totally forgotten in the last half an hour, jsut who had caused this mess! It was a bastard by the name of Moron Pukes. He was the one who stopped our friend Plankistan from celebrating his eighteenth birthday. And where is he now? Running off to nay place on earth, wihtout our knowledge, using magic that few of us cuold decipher or defend against. Moron Pukes is pure evil, and so is his magic."

Niock paused and looked around to see how his words were sinking in. Dumbledore was outright surprised at this open attack on magic, but couldn't argue since there's little doubt Moron Pukes was evil. Eyes were wide-open and were attentively wairing for what Niock was about to say next. Excellent, thought Niock.

"It is because of this... uh... this evil, that justice for Plankistan must be sought. Moron Pukes cannot freely roam around this world! He has committed the worst of crimes!" Niock took another pause to await for the final effect.

Niock held the microphone and spoke directly into it. "Moron Pukes will pay!"


In the eastern magical forests of Venezuela, Moron Pukes was waiting for a good moment to wake Harry. He knew he had to do it soon. This hiding place was only temporary. He knew Harry supported 80% of his magic and he really couldn't survive without it. He had watched the whole funeral through a linking device on Garmeeto Par, and now found himself in a dangerous position. They could track him down sooner or later, and by the sounds of it, tear him up in a worse death than Plankistan's.

He had to wake up Harry.

<<< Previous


Main Menu

Site Toolbox:

Personal tools
GNU Free Documentation License 1.2
This page was last modified on 4 February 2009, at 05:06.
Disclaimers - About BluWiki