Harry Potter and the Death of Harry Potter/Forwards
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Contents |
[edit] Forwards
Dear reader:
Since the first Harry Potter novel came out children have been mesmerized by what appears to be wonderful stories. Little do these children know that what they're reading is to an extent, messing up their minds, or to the very least wasting their time. The biggest thing about HP is the fact that it's plagiarised more sources than Star Wars, which is pretty difficult to manage. Greek mythology wasn't meant to be mutated into this weird modernized story of Harry Potter. For these reasons, among others, people bagan to hate Harry Potter. There had been various petitions calling for the ban of Potter books because of its evil nature.
Being slightly original with our cast of characters, we decided to start an anti-fanfic about Harry Potter to represent people who hate the series. Our novel is to be known for Harry's pathetic end. The novel starts out as fun satire and just plain ridicule, but a plot develops seriously at around chapter 4. "Harry Potter and the death of Harry Potter" is the last book of the Harry Potter series.
Lunar Buchanan, Joe Zachary, and Oliezhik, true HP haters.
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[edit] List of Characters
[edit] Real Characters
Harry Potter - portrayed as gay, nerdy, friendless, yet has great magical powers
Ron Weasley - red-haired, Harry's foremost love
Hermione Granger - Harry's and Ron's enemy, has bushy eyebrows
Draco Malfoy - Portrayed as useless and feminine, became servant to Niock's gang after their arrival.
Dobby - Still a slave, just more of a night-time companion for Harry because everyone else refused
Professor Snape - Trapped in a toilet.
Professor Dumbledore - Headmaster at Hogwarts
Hagrid - Plays generally the same role as he does in the original Harry Potter series.
[edit] Synthesized Characters: The Slytherin Gang
Niock (Ani Oaock Frederick) - Socially popular, Anti-Magic activist, has fro; admitted to Hogwarts with the intent of learning magic because he wanted to beat up Harry Potter.
Song (Steve R. Song)- Asian kid, famous for making practical jokes
Mitch Chang (Mitchell Donald Chang)- Anti-Magic activist, pretty bad temper, articulate.
Plankistan (Blake Markato III)- Weird guy on Quidditch team.
Robert E. Harding - The only guy who uses his real name on Niock's gang. Follower-type person.
Oliezhik (Olieck Konstantinovich Demetor)- Computer person, programming and all that shit, Russian
Seen Action (Peter Christopher Sheen) - Plays computer games
Candy Jennings (Kenneth Stark Jennings) - Plays computer games, doesn't really care about anything
Hanky-Panky (Henry Wang Banks) - fake martial artist, well-intentioned
Big Ax Alder (Albert Alexander Alderman)- Tall guy born in Norway.
Jet Liu (Shuo Liu) - real Chinese martial artist, strong Bachina
[edit] Synthesized Characters: The rest of Hogwarts
Jeetu Janitor (Harzhat Tu-Dzato) - Kid from India. On Harry's quidditch team, hates Harry. Has weird and useless magical powers.
Jay-jay (Jerry-Joe Smith) - Water magician
Chunny (Chunxi Wang) - Torture engineer
Garmeeto Par (Garry Par)- Loser on Harry's Quidditch team
Moron Pukes (Maroon R. Pews)- Smart, but a loser nonetheless, has various schemes.
Mr. D (Foo Dai See) - Thai magician
Kurtious Hamter - Mysterious dude.
This is a work of fan fiction. It should be noted that all the characters and place names are fictional (please, please don't argue that Harry Potter and Hogwarts are actually REAL), and any resemblance of real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Also, please note that this story was created not to have the intent of offending readers, but as a guide in disguise.
