How to Look Attractive
Want to Look More Attractive?
Ever wish you were that guy, the one in the room that all the women want to be with, and every man wishes he was? Men have it a little bit easier than women. For us, all we have to do is be confident. Most women care very little if a man is a little bit heavier or even ugly, so long as he is confident and kind.
In this article, I'll give you a cheat sheet for all the best ways to look more handsome and attractive to women, including tricks to boost your confidence, how to seem more confident. I will also show you how to be more stylish, thoughtful, and more masculine.
All women love a confident man. Women are instantaneously turned off at the first sign of weakness from a man, as they are biologically engineered to seek out strong, confident men who will be able to protect them and know what to do. If you show any signs of weakness, like neediness, shyness, insecurity, or nervousness, you will significantly decrease your available pool of desirable mates.
Weed these qualities out in yourself. Do the things you know you need to do to make you like yourself more, like accomplish goals you have set for yourself, and take good care of your health and hygiene.
If you aren't a naturally confident personality, you have probably heard the phrase, "fake it til you make it." So what does this mean, exactly? Take a look at yourself in the mirror, or better yet, record yourself. You may feel shy doing this, but this is a trick all successful businessmen are taught to use.
Talk to the mirror as you would talk to a woman. For the most accurate results, try to re-create a conversation you have actually had. Don't be hard on yourself if you dislike the way you look. Just cooly evaluate. Notice if you look disdainful, cruel, or snide.
There are certain habits people have when they speak which can have an unfortunate effect, you don't want to have the habit of curling your lip, speaking out of one side of your mouth, or scratching your face a lot, so if you notice you have any of these tics, work on stopping them.
Unfortunately, it is very difficult to stop a bad habit. It is easier to actually replace it with a good or desirable habit instead. If your problem is fidgeting, place your hands in your pockets, and lean back slightly on your heels. If your problem is having the wrong expression on your face, try relaxing all your features. Squeeze your whole face up tightly and then relax all the features.
Work on Expression & Posture
You may want to try just having a relaxed expression with "soft" eyes. Also watch the movie and television actors you admire and try emulating their expressions and posture.
Now stand up straight and square your shoulders. This is good for your spine as well as appearances, so get into the habit of always having good posture, even when you are alone. Yoga, meditation, and pilates will all help with these if it feels uncomfortable. If you'd like to be taller than you are, you can add some volume to your hair or even put small wedges into your shoes.
However, chances are, if you are pulling yourself off with confidence, women aren't even noticing your height. Remember how much everybody used to root for Tom Cruise? He's become much cockier and unpleasant now, but at the height of his career, he had a sort of confidence which made you just instantly like him. Tom Hanks is an example of another actor with a wonderful, subtle surety which makes people gravitate to him.
Exercise and Meditation
If you are naturally a nervous personality, one way to combat this is to use exercise and meditation. You may want to cut back on the caffeine, too! Exercising helps to wipe those butterflies out, and meditation, while it may seem to be more of a feminine pursuit, is a wonderful way to focus the mind and calm the body. In order to meditate, you need only a quiet place.
You can sit on the ground or in a chair, it doesn't matter. First relax yourself, mentally assess each part of your body for stress and tension. Where you find tension, squeeze the muscle as tightly as possible, and then release. Do this all over your entire body, including your face and neck.
When you have finished, take a deep breath from your belly. Hold your breath, and then slowly exhale. Watch yourself breathe in and out for ten to twenty minutes. Try not to think about anything but breathing.
Develop Attractive Habits
If you catch yourself thinking, don't judge yourself. Just let the thought go, like a cloud. With steady practice, meditation will help you to become very clear, calm, and focused. You will be the cool head which prevails in all situations. including seduction. It cannot be overstated how much women like cool, relaxed men. Meditation classes and DVDs are available everywhere, and you can even find excellent videos on Youtube.
Getting the habit of meditating even for five minutes daily will make a difference in your life, even if you are not a particularly nervous person, it's always a good thing to be able to be more focused.
Use sure movements, if you are calm and collected, you will better be able to see yourself doing things before you have actually done them. Here's a simple experiment. Sit at your table. Move your salt out of your way. Now, put it back. Try moving the salt again, but this time, know exactly where you will put the salt container when you place it down. That same movement feels and looks much different, doesn't it?
Even the way you put the container down, probably just a bit more softly, eels more sophisticated. Imagine if you did this in more spheres of your life. People will interpret you as being just a bit more capable. It's a tiny little tweak to make, too.
Having a Plan
Basically, the key to confidence is having a plan. Life is a twisting stream, of course, and even the best laid plans go awry, but if you have a plan you will feel that much more sure of yourself. Get into the habit of making to-do lists, and check things off as you get them done.
This is a confidence booster for sure, but it also gives you direction. Direction and focus are vital life skills. Taking a few extra minutes in the morning to gather yourself will make a big difference in how confident you feel during the day. You may want to even get into the habit of regrouping yourself before events.
Check in with yourself. Notice if you feel tense or nervous, and breathe through it. Play an exciting song, and let yourself sing along. Relax. Make a plan.
Comfort In One's Own Skin
In order to be attractive to others, you have to be attractive to yourself. If you were not you, would you even like yourself? If not, why not? Take steps to correct these things, but also practice self-acceptance. It's okay to have made mistakes, it's okay to look imperfect, or not have a lot of money. Life is all about the experience. If you make a mistake, learn from it.
If you think you look kind of funny, well, lots of people look kind of funny, and it gives you a bit of individuality. If you don't have a lot of money, so what? The best things in life really are free, and often people with a lot of income don't have the time to enjoy it.
A great example of a man who seems to be comfortable in his own skin is Jeff Bridges. He's got a rich, relaxed voice. He's okay with his imperfections, and the imperfections in the world, too. Women love him because they get the impression he likes women, real women, for all their flaws and impracticalities, because it is just these things which make them interesting individuals. Kurt Russell gives off the same vibe. This type of man can't help but be successful with women, almost too successful!
If you say you'll do something, you must always do it. This is called keeping your word, and so few men do it that you will make an incredible impression. So now, whenever you say you'd like to do this or that, you will have to follow through, whether that means you'll call her tomorrow or you're going to learn to cook or go sky-diving, you are going to do it.
This goes for at work, too. Your reputation will climb sky-high. Having this quality will also give you the desirable trait of keeping your mouth shut sometimes too! It's more impressive and mysterious to not be chattering all the time, and after you've had to carry out a few uncomfortable follow-throughs, you'll be more careful about what you say.
Be a Good Friend
You should be a good friend to both men and women, but especially your male friends. Don't drop all your true-blue friends the moment you have a great girl to hang around with, and don't ever give up boys night. Having time apart will give you more to talk about, and you'll retain loyalty in your crew.
Plus, hanging out with women all the time will give you a one-sided personality, it's important to nurture the beers-and-nachos, hunting-and-sports side, too. Be loyal to your friends, and be there for them if they need you. Help them move, hang out with them after a bad break-up, and tell them that you care now and then.
Don't just go out to the bars together, either, be the man who organizes something fun, like a day on the lake, or a grill-party, maybe even a themed party. You can all take the town dressed like characters from Mad Men, and more than likely you'll meet some fashionable women besides.
A Sense of Humor
Maybe you don't think you're funny, but being able to laugh at yourself and situations is a great way to make other people relax, too. Just because you can't spin off a one-liner or even tell a good joke doesn't mean you don't have a sense of humor. It's difficult to be around a stiff, rigid person, and is actually bad on your cardiovascular health, too, so try to loosen up.
Don't take yourself so seriously. You should always try your best at whatever you are doing, but if things don't go as planned, oh well. Take steps to correct things as best you can, and enjoy the surprises life gives us. Women will enjoy being with you and respect you all the more for being able to control yourself.
If you are able to carry a joke, make sure you don't tell ones which are mean or make people feel uncomfortable. This is tricky because most of the best jokes are mean to at least somebody, but remember: you are a gentleman.
Life is a continual process of education. A really attractive man is someone who is able to think for himself. This helps you to carry on wonderful conversations with all types of people, and also to enjoy your life more. Additionally, you will find common ground in some of the places you least expect it, which is always interesting.
Make a habit of visiting the library or bookstore (some of the best places to meet stimulating women, incidentally) and try to read a book a week. If you read slowly at first, you'll get faster with practice, and there are even books out there which teach you how to read faster.
It's a skill, like anything else, of course. The Evelyn Waugh method is widely believed to be the very best, she has advice on how to read paragraphs and whole pages in a glance, and even retain the information better. This is great whether you are studying or just want to learn more. You'll be impressed with how capable your brain is. All too often we don't give it enough credit!
You can also take classes and attend lectures. Visit your local university or continuing education center and see what classes interest you. Fine grocery stores often have cooking classes, and art museums have wonderful talks scheduled, often for free. Try learning a new language and taking a trip on your own.
You'll meet all sorts of people, see fascinating things, and have wonderful stories to tell, which is so important to women, who absolutely love a man who likes to talk, as well as listen. Additionally, being able to speak another language or two opens up whole new cultures of women for you to explore.
Be A Gentleman
In this day and age, the gentleman stands head and shoulders above the rest. Always pick up the check. Hold open doors, both doors, if you go into a double door building, and let her go first. When you allow her to feel like a gracious lady, you'll be amazed how much more glamorous the whole evening becomes. And she'll treat you more like a hero, which you will enjoy.
So pull out her chair and order her meal for her, once she knows what she wants. Help her put on her coat. When you go back out into the street, a real gentleman always escorts his lady, offer her your arm, or take her elbow. Have your hand at the small of her back. Your lady will find you devastatingly attractive, and other women will take notice as well.
Save Your Attention
However, don't show too much attention to your lady-friends. You want to keep them guessing, and leave them wanting more. Don't ever participate in text barrages. Don't answer all her phone calls, and don't let her talk to you for hours and hours.
Occasionally you should take trips without her, or ones which you have not told her about. If she gets needy or clingy, reconsider the relationship, you just want to keep her interested.
By extending the chase, you make the whole relationship much more romantic and satisfying when it does come to its culmination. So be the one to end the kiss, make sure you smile when you do this!, be the one to say goodnight, and don't over-compliment her. You want a push/pull quality to the relationship.
Keep Them Guessing
She should never be entirely sure if she has you or not, this way you will always be on her mind. She'll be calling all her girlfriends about you, wondering what to do, while you get to just relax and play it cool.
Again, this doesn't mean you should act like a selfish jerk. You are a gentleman. You should help her into her car, pull her hair back from her face, and rub her shoulders. Take out the trash or something sweet and domestic like that when you are at her house, especially without her asking. Don't mention it. Let her notice, she will. She'll be floored at how wonderful you are. It's the little touches which make a big difference.
If you find yourself beginning to fall in love, that's wonderful, but don't say it right away. It might feel good for both of you, but later she will question your sincerity and strength. Try to wait at least six months. Don't bring her around your friends and family right away, either, especially if you have dated many women. You don't want to seem like a frivolous person. Introduce her to your friends sometime in the third month, and to family only after six or seven months. Waiting a year would be even better.
Have Some Style
Frank Sinatra is the epitome of the stylish, dapper man. By having a style all your own, you help to make yourself something of an icon. You also project your interests and can attract likeminded people. If you are interested in the past, try wearing vintage or vintage inspired clothing, like bowling shirts shirts and vintage trousers.
If you'd like to be perceived as a really stylish man, make the effort to purchase clothes which fit you will. You never want a clingy or baggy fit, but one which gives you a streamlined effect. Heavier fabrics will look best if you have a little extra weight, or even if you want to disguise a slightly-too-slim build.
Match all your accessories, many european men have a complete set of accessories in two different colors, so that they match everything in their wardrobe. Consider buying complete or matching sets of ties, suspenders, belts, sunglasses, socks, a messenger bag or briefcase, gloves, umbrella, scarves, and hats. How much more elegant will that expensive coat look with a good scarf worn outside it, a nice hat, and an umbrella over the crook of your shoulder?
Colors and Wardrobe
For a really great wardrobe, choose a few colors which suit your lifestyle as well as your skin-tone, and buy all your clothing in these colors. That way everything will mix and match. A good color-story would include black, brown, blue, light-blue, and white. Brown and light-blue look very well together. Women also love the color blue, it conveys confidence, calm, and security to them. Blue also looks good on everyone, so stock your closet. If you don't believe me, check out this article on secrets for how to attract women.
Vests and suspenders are under utilized accessories which are perceived as charming, as well as is having a hankie on hand. Try wearing charming dress socks for a little pop of color that matches your tie and hankie.
Wear good shoes which befit your age. Don't wear anything too silly, like shoes with flames on them, or crazily pointed toes, lest you look obnoxious. Little dashes of color and color-coordination are appreciated by women, little flashes of luxury, like a well-appointed interior to your briefcase, or a nice quality pen go farther than you realize.
Wear Some Flair
Wearing something which has a little flair will naturally draw attention to you. Slightly unusual shoes, or a suitably masculine ring can be great conversation starters, at the very least, she will appreciate your style. But don't over do it. Seeming overly concerned with your clothing and appearance will send exactly the wrong impression.
You'll send yourself right down friendship lane, or she'll lose all interest in you. Being vain and preening all the time is beta male behavior. The alpha male must seem to do these things naturally.
Wearing a Hat Properly
When you pick out a hat, ask the shop-owner to help you. Don't be shy about trying on dozens of hats, because when you find the one which perfectly suits you, you'll feel like a whole new man. Usually you will want a hat which either matches or complements your hair color, but choosing one which blends well with your wardrobe is a good move as well.
As a general rule, the brim should be slightly wider than your face, especially if you have a full face. If you have a long face, do not select a tall hat, and vice versa. You want to choose a hat which complements your appearance and your personality. This is why hats once were called "toppers", they really are the finishing touch, and complete a look. Also, you can add a whole new group of movements when you wear a hat.
You can touch your brim at a pretty girl, or even push it back slightly on your head, like Jude Law does to be charming. Pushing your hat back just a big is an old fashioned way to show you are earnest and sincere, girls will absolutely love it. Try wearing your hat at a jaunty angle. Observe good manners when wearing a hat, too. Take it off when you are in an elevator or at a meal. All eyes will be on you, and you want to make a handsome impression, not a boorish one.
Have a Sophisticated House or Apartment
Choose your house in the best area you can afford. Pick one with a nice view, a pretty exterior for entertaining, and lots of things to walk to nearby, like parks and ice cream shops. When she comes to visit, you'll always have something to do. Decide how you want to be perceived, and outfit your entire home in this way.
Having a maid is inexpensive, and often worthwhile, because if she comes over and you have beard clippings all over the bathroom, and empty liquor containers lining the walls, all your hard work will go down the drain. She'll think you're just another slob.
A house or apartment can be decorated inexpensively if you get in the habit of trolling antique and vintage stores as well as estate sales. This is also a great way to meet women, and to entertain the one you're with. Take your time, and make up stories about where different objects have come from. Mirrors are a terrific way to make small space seem larger, and old chests are a cool, manly way to stash your stuff.
Decorate for Her Senses
It's important to choose things with sensual textures, like soft rugs, luxurious leather, and plush pillows. You want your place to be a good place to be naked in. Generally, when purchasing outfittings for a home or apartment, buy older things when you can. They tend to be much more better made, and will add a look of manly substance as well as a touch of worldliness to your place, which she'll love.
Dark wood and leather look very manly together. Purchase a pool table, if it's something you enjoy, and have some vintage decanters filled with your favorite liquor. Whatever you do, don't have silly posters on the walls or display empty bottles or cans of your favorite drinks. That's incredibly tacky. Also make sure to not leave clothing hanging around on the floor. Make this a habit, because invariably the one time you forget it will be someone else's panties, or your own underwear, complete with skid marks and all. What a way to lose all credibility!
Have lots of reading material around as well as a good selection of movies and art. She'll be curious about the things you are interested in, and as soon as you leave the room, these are the things she'll be checking out, so hide all instructional books on how to seduce women and such.
Keep it Neat
Always keep your bathroom very neat and tidy. Hide anything you don't want her to see, like medications or embarrassing lotions or creams, and make sure your bath mat, towels, and shower curtain all match. This may seem like a lot of extra effort just to attract women, but think how productive and relaxed you can be in a well-organized and carefully appointed place! Plus, you can invite the boss over for dinner sometime. You'll rise in his estimation and have a good time, too.
Cultivate a Talent
The most fascinating men generally are very good at something. It does not need to necessarily be something which makes you a lot of money, just something you enjoy working at and which gives you something enjoyable to talk about and show off. If you have a good voice, consider taking voice lessons.
Even if you have no intention of ever being a lounge singer, learning how to modulate your voice in an attractive way is a good investment both for impressing women and for business. Take every opportunity to whistle, sing along with songs, hum, and serenade your lady friends. Sing just a bit longer than most people would, and sustain eye contact. If you're wearing a hat, touch your brim, and then saunter merrily away. She'll be smitten.
Other great talents for looking attractive to women include playing an instrument, like a guitar, or painting, or writing. Some women really admire athletes. Being a great cook is fun for everybody, and you'll have a wonderful time playing host. You can even surprise your date by coming over with a bag of groceries and making her a memorable meal.
Find a Unique Skill
Learn how to ride a motorcycle or go parasailing, learn how to snorkel, scuba dive, or drive a boat. Being able to give a great massage or tell a fortune by looking at a girl's palm are somewhat more daring skills you can pull out at a party. Whatever your skill, don't hog the spotlight for too long. You are apt to bore people and seem self-involved, which is a huge turn-off.
Also let other men share the spotlight. You want other men to look up to you so you can be seen as a leader, as a dominant male. This will make her look up to you all the more.
Great Tips To Draw Women's Attention
At a gathering, always place yourself at the center of the room. Make sure you appear cool, relaxed, and well-dressed. Be friendly, kind, and a thoughtful conversationalist, make sure you are obviously having a good time, and happy to be exactly where you are. This will make you approachable, and also make it easier for you to approach other women later. Chances are, she will have noticed you, and decided you seemed like a nice guy. She won't try to brush you off.
At a bar, always sit on the corner of the bar if you can help it. This is where both bartenders and conversation congregate, so you can guarantee you'll be in the thick of things, and have a great vantage point for checking out all the ladies.
Take up a little more space, which is a dominant gesture. Stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart, and own the area directly in front of you. Women will notice this subconsciously. Never cross your arms, which cuts people off from you, and don't chew gum or ice. That's an irritating, abrasive habit, as is a loud, sharp laugh, or scratching yourself too often, which will make you seem as if you are lying.
Presentation Matters, A lot
Remember to smile. If you don't like your smile, try to change it with practice in the mirror. If your teeth are what's bothering you, make the time to visit the dentist. Having a nice smile makes people feel more comfortable, and may just increase your salary as well.
Go easy on the cologne. It appears vain and unattractive whenever a man wears an obvious scent, you should be fragranced only slightly, so that it appears to come just from your skin whenever a woman comes very close. Women are reputably attracted to the scent of licorice, so you might seek out fragrances with a slight note of licorice, or just keep a stash in your pocket.
Alway stride purposefully, and speak clearly and with confidence. You can practice your volume, tone, and enunciation by reading out loud when you are at home, read poetry, stories, or even news articles. This is a great way to relax, improve yourself, and become more informed, all at the same time.
The final trick to seeming handsome and attractive to women is experience. Practice at every opportunity. Make your grouchy, unattractive bank teller smile. Making the habit of charming every one you meet will make your life an enjoyable breeze, and you will never be bored or lonely. Don't force yourself on people, be casual about it. Being friendly makes it much easier to talk with women, too.
Odds are you will need to ask lots of women out before being able to get a date, so have fun with it. Don't take rejection personally. You never know what kind of day someone is having, or what sort of difficult experiences they have had. When you realize that you are having success with a woman and she is enjoying your company, make sure you don't fall into the treacherous "friend zone" by making your intentions clear.
Be very direct. Don't allow her to talk about other men, and don't over share about your own experiences. Men of mystery are the most attractive and interesting of all. Always keep a little back, you don't want to run out of stories on the third date! Let her talk, and watch her lips when she does.
Relax and Let it Flow
Being able to attract women will make your life more enjoyable in other areas as well. As you learn how to relax, comport yourself, and educate yourself, you will find more and more opportunities opening up to you, in business as well as pleasure. Make sure to circulate so you can find a woman who is truly compatible with you, and not just good looking. If you attend mixers, meet-ups, and clubs for things you are genuinely interested in, you will quickly surround yourself with like-minded spirits.
And isn't that what everyone wants? Have a wonderful time, and enjoy the process. You'll learn things you never appreciated about yourself as you go along, and the end result will be a guy you're happy to live the rest of your life with, and maybe that same type of woman, too.