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How to Make Friends

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Make Friends the Easy Way

For the majority of people, they do not simply wake up one day and say that they are tired of living an isolated lifestyle, creating the need to make new friends. Common occurrences that require the need for individuals to set out to make new friendships in their life are wide-ranging.

Moving Around

Whether moving across town or to another state altogether, making new friends in your immediate area may be the key to adjusting to your new location.

People that are familiar with the area can help you maneuver throughout the area and locate venues that will be of interest to you in your new home.

Starting a New Job

When starting a new job or setting out in the career world for the first time, you may find that you lose common interests with friends from your old job.

Making new friends that are involved in the same career path or the same workplace where you are now employed can prove to be positive for your new venture in life.

You will be able to establish a foundation for your new friendships with these individuals based on your knowledge of the job or interest in obtaining new knowledge.

Going to a New School

Whenever you transfer to a new school or you move away to attend college for the first time, the world that you are use to quickly fades away.

Establishing friendships in these areas can provide you with the ability to make positive adjustments to your new lifestyle.

You will also find that making friends on campus can provide you with the ideal companionship to events that are school related or take place on campus.

Retirement

When you have spent many years within a workplace chances are many of the friendships that you have were based in this location. When you retire and leave these friends behind you will quickly learn that life tends to lead you down different paths. It is important to locate friends that you can share common interests and activities as you start your new journey in life.

Children have grown up and moved away from home. Committing the majority of your life to raising children can be very rewarding. However, when they move away to start their own way in life it leaves you with a great deal of loneliness and free time on your hands that is not always so welcomed.

Locating new friends that may have already went throughout these changes in life or who are currently going through the same adjustments as you are facing can provide you with the ideal support system that can lead to very rewarding friendships in your life.

Changes in Relationships

For some people, making new friends may be a way to deal with the divorce or the death of a spouse. While you may have molded your life to take part in the activities and companionship of your significant other, now you must find new friendships to fill these voids in your life.

Finding others that are faced with similar changes in their life will help you develop a support system and find ways to adjust to the changes that you have been faced with.

Positive Attributes Of Making New Friendships

Making new friendships is not only a way to fill a void in your life. According to multiple studies that have been conducted at UCLA in Berkley, these relationships are necessary for creating a health lifestyle that provides interaction with others and a means of dealing with the many struggles that you will encounter in your lifetime.

People that have established friendships that are based on honesty, trust, loyalty and dependability are more likely to see things in life in a more positive manner than an individual that tends to keep everything to themselves.

These studies have shown that people that live isolated lives tend to have more serious health ailments such as heart disease, strokes, cancer and other serious medical conditions than others that lead active lifestyles with healthy friendships. Some of the benefits of establishing healthy friendships include:

  • Less Stress In Your Life
  • Better Performance At Work And In School
  • More Positive Outlook When Faced With Struggles
  • Easier Time Adapting To Changes In Life That Occur
  • Happier Home Life and Personal Relationships With Family Members

Body Language Says A Lot When You Want To Start New Friendships

The way that you carry yourself in public says a lot about a person. This is especially true when your goal is start new friendships with others. People will avoid others that seem to give the appearance that they are wrapped up in themselves or simply want to be left along.

Here are some common tips for displaying the body language that suggests you are serious about meeting new people and welcome new friendships in your life:

Make Eye Contact With Others

When you are in public, make it a point to maintain eye contact with a person that you would like to talk to. Avoid acting timid and standoffish by looking down often. This tells another person that you want to be left alone and are not interested in any interactions with them.

However, when you do maintain eye contact with other people, the individual will see you as an honest and open person. You give them the sense of being compassionate about others and being truthful without trying to hide within yourself.

Avoid Folding Your Arms

When people see others folding their arms the often get the impression that the individuals is wrapped up in themselves or buts themselves in a higher class than others. This is not an inviting gesture that is welcomed when you want to get to know other people.

According to studies that were conducted by the psychology department at UCLA, getting into the habit of not folding your arms can actually help to increase your own level of self-esteem and provide you with more success in every area of your life.

Smile As A Sign Of Acknowledgement

Smiling at others is warm and inviting. This tells the person that you are happy and would be worth getting to know. Your smile is both infectious and intriguing in situations when you want to get to meet new friends. This simple act lets others know that they will probably not spend their time listening to the troubles and dramas in your life without being heard themselves.

According to major studies done at the University of Boston, smiles truly are infectious. Whether passing by someone else or having a full conversation with others, when you smile during the time that is spent together, the other individuals around you cannot help but smile themselves.

Do Not Fidget Or Act Nervous

Whether you are placing your hands in your pocket or moving around in another involuntary manner, you are telling others that you do not feel comfortable.

This can make others feel insecure about the topic of conversation or give them the feeling as though you are not interested in what they are talking about. While you may just be a nervous person or unsure of yourself, it often is mistaken as a negative feeling for the other individual.

Make Friends

Avoid One Word Answers

When you want to get to know other people it is best to avoid conversations that require only one word answers. This does not give you the appropriate means to discover if you have things in common or have the similar views on the subject matter at hand.

Instead, start conversations that may actually involve the other person giving their view on a subject matter or provide you with information about a subject area that they may particularly be well-schooled in such as a hobby, sport or career focus.

Tips For Meeting New People

Places that you choose to meet new people and the activities that you partake in when meeting others can play a major role in the likelihood of your new friendships lasting any length of time. It is important to ensure that you have things in common with the people that you want to establish your new friendship with.

This will prevent the necessity of feeling bored or the common occurrence of trying to avoid a person that you may find to be a nuisance. Here are some tips to ensure that you are off to the best start possible when trying to build your friend list.

Start a Conversation

Starting a conversation with others will open up the opportunity to see if you have things in common. Ensure that the conversation is engaging and open to the other person’s opinions and input. This will provide you with the ability to see if the other individual carries common interests and views that you may have yourself.

This is an important key to ensuring that you are likely to be able to build a positive friendship. You can perform this simple act by simply talking to individuals within the places that you visit such as restaurants, elevators, parks, gyms and fitness centers, shopping centers or any other area you may be at.

Take Personal Enrichment Classes

There are many local enrichment classes and groups that allow you the opportunity to meet with others that are interested in the same subject matters as yourself. This provides the ideal foundation for building a new friendship, as you already know that you share common interests and likes.

You can locate these events throughout classified sections of you local newspaper, school directories, church bulletin boards, community bulletin postings and other community information resources in your area.

Common classes that you may want to investigate include hobbies or activities that you regularly are involved in but want to gain new knowledge about, educational courses that will enrich your career path or domestic courses that can be utilized right in your home.

Join a Sports Team

If you enjoy spending time playing a particular sport then joining a local sports team will put you in contact with people in your area that share your passion for this activity. You can start by introducing yourself and ask the other person about their experiences in this particular sport or team.

Be open to advice and comments aimed at informing you of their particular knowledge in this area. If you are a competitive person, it is important to avoid allowing this to get in the way of your new potential friendship.

Never wager bets against another person when trying to gain the individual as a friend because not everyone is open to this type of activity.


Join Up with a Cause

Every area has local organizations or groups that are focused on getting results and making a positive impact within their community. If you have a particular cause that you believe in and would like to meet others that feel the same way then joining one of these groups can be ideal for meeting new friends.

Parents and loved ones of an individual that may be suffering from a medical condition often find this a very beneficial activity for meeting new friends. You will have the opportunity to be involved in groups that raise awareness in your area and are pro-active at finding a solution to the problem.

You will meet other individuals that are faced with similar struggles and challenges that can make the option of meeting new friends very difficult. Together you can build a support system for each other and learn new ways of coping with the problems that you face.

Start an Organization

If you are unable to locate an organization or cause in your area in which you want to support, you can start your own organization or fundraising event. You can enlist the help of others in your community to get involved. This will also help individuals that have a hard time initiating the friendship first.

When other individuals enlist to help your cause, you can use this as a means for establishing the first steps towards a rewarding friendship opportunity.

Be Social Locally

Activities that take place in your area such as bazaars, back sales, neighborhood rummage sales, fairs and other social gatherings allow people from every background to gather in one area. Keep an open mind when attending these events and find people that may be interested in subjects, hobbies or activities that you enjoy.

You can start simple conversations asking questions about the activity or make a positive comment that the person will find to be inviting to have a conversation about.

If you want to be more involved, sign up to be a participant in the event. This will provide you with the ability to forego having to confront the other party. Instead, these individuals will come to you allowing you to continue a conversation that they initiated.

Be a Conversation Starter

Simply starting a conversations with other individuals that around you, no matter your location, can provide you with new friendships that can last a lifetime. You just have to be open to talking about subject matters that are neutral and open ended, allowing for the other person to show an interest in meeting new people and adding to their friends’ list as well.

You can be involved in all of the organizations and events throughout your area. However, if you are unable to carry a conversation with another person you will never get the opportunity to make new friends through any of these events or situations.

Volunteer for Events

There are many organizations and groups within your local area that actively seek volunteers to help keep their cause operating successfully. If you have the time available, volunteering for these causes can provide you with the ideal means of meeting many new friends in the community. With the positive feeling that you get for involvement, you will feel more confident about initiating conversations with others in the group.

Go to Church

People that want to meet new friends in a positive environment can find what they are looking for right in a church settings. Locate a church that has interactive social events such as fellowship luncheons following their services, quilting groups, choir, Sunday school and other activities within their congregation.

These events will allow you to participate in events that you are interested in and meet new people that share these interests with you. Maintaining an open and inviting personality will go along way when joining these groups.

Invite Friends to Your Home

If you have met an acquaintance and would like to get to know the person better, invite them to coffee, luncheon or dinner as your guest. This provides you with the opportunity to see if you and the other person share similar interests or simply can enjoy one another’s company for a few hours.

Make sure that you do not over indulge on personal information about yourself and listen to what the other person has to say. Interact in the conversation in a non-bias manner until you get to know the person’s situation completely.

Help Out a Co-Worker

Some of your greatest friends may be right in your own workplace. Going out of your way to assist a co-worker that may be overwhelmed with responsibilities may be your next opportunity to build a lasting friendship. These individuals will be appreciative for your help while the experience will allow you the time to get to know the other person.

Try an upbeat approach to conversations with individuals that may be feeling overwhelmed or frustrated with the tasks that they may be lagging in. You may find that you really enjoy spending time talking to this other co-worker and would enjoy the opportunity to participate in activities outside of the workplace to begin your new friendship.

Plan Neighborhood Events

If you are new to the neighborhood, encourage and arrange events that can gather your new neighbors together. This will allow you to get to know the people in your immediate area and provide a mutual meeting ground for gaining new friendships.

Some examples of the activities that you can arrange include a neighborhood barbecue, dessert social, children’s play date or weekend meet and greet. You can ask each family to participate by bringing a dish to pass or think of an activity for everyone to participate in.

Participate in School Activities

If you are a parent of a school-aged child, you will find many different opportunities throughout their school career to participate in activities that occur at their school. This can include volunteering opportunities, classroom assisting, field trip chaperone, library aid, lunch aid or other assistance needed during school hours.

This will allow you the perfect opportunity to meet other parents that may be in similar situations as yourself in which you have little time left for social activities while raising a family. For high school and college age students, making friends around your school campus can provide you with friendships that can last a lifetime.

You will find that these facilities are ideal for meeting other students your age who are interested in similar hobbies, activities or causes as yourself.

Maintaining Your New Friendship

Once you have started a new friendship with someone, it is important to know how to maintain the friendship. When you are unsure of how to keep your friendship alive, all of the effort that you put into establishing your new friendship is fruitless.

Besides simply communicating occasionally, it is important to stay actively involved in each other’s lives to build on your new friendship. Here are some tips that will help to develop lasting positive friendships that can continue for the rest of your life.

Make time to do common interest activities together. Regardless on how hectic your daily life may be it is important to make sure that you set aside some time for your new friend. Like any relationship, a friendship is very fragile when it first begins and can take some time to build the trust and ability to depend on the other person.

You can start by planning activities together such as going for a walk or meeting for coffee and make sure that you can keep the scheduled time without having to disappoint your new friend. This commitment to your new friend will help build the trust that your friendship will need.

Be Honest

Never tell lies to your new friend just to make yourself look better or to get the person more interested in being your friend. You will always get caught in these lies and the trust that is important in a friendship will never be able to develop. Your new friend will always wonder if you are being honest and sincere.

This skepticism will play havoc on the new and fragile friendship. If you are the victim in the friendship of another person lying to you, regardless of how simple the lie may be, you will want to end this type of friendship immediately. This can save you from major devastation and heartbreak later on.

Be a Good Listener

Take the time to listen to what your new friend has to say. One of the keys to building a trusting friendship is to know that your new friend can be supportive when you have something of importance to share.

Let your new friend know that you care about the events that are occurring in their life and are there for moral support if they need it. Encourage the involvement in activities that are upbeat and help to eliminate the stress that your friend is faced with for even just a little while.

Be Trustworthy

When you agree to help a friend or make time for them, make sure that you can follow out these plans. It is important with any relationship to show that you are trustworthy and dependable. Your friend may simply need to your time to forget about problems that they are faced with or as a means to get through a difficult time.

You would feel let down if you were the one that was the victim in the friendship in which the other person continuously disappointed you in this manner.

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Keep a Event Calendar

Remembering important events in a person’s life such as their birthday, anniversaries, children’s birthdays and other special occasions is important to any friendship regardless of how long they have been in existence. Your friend will expect you to want to share in the milestones that feel are important in their life.

This may extend to their family members’ special day, as well.

Support your friend during difficulties in their life. When your friend is faced with difficulties in their life, lend your support. While you may not be able to fix all of their problems no matter how much you would like to, your support during difficult times can mean a world of difference in their lives.

There are occasions in everyone’s life when problems arise and make you feel as though you are carrying the world on your shoulders. Having the ability to talk to others that you know care about your feelings can help ease the burden placed on you.

Avoiding Unhealthy Friendships

Not every new friendship turns out to be healthy. In fact, some of the friendships that people may anticipate to be ideal can actually cause you to experience great losses in your life when they are not dissolved. Here are some tips for avoiding friendships that should not be continued within a person’s life.

Do not change yourself for a friendship. It is okay to change for the betterment of yourself but to change in order to continue a friendship or other relationship should never be encouraged. People go to extensive lengths to fit in with others that they want to establish friendships with only to find out that that these friendships have no foundation. This is why it is important to make friends with individuals that you already share common interests with.

Do not partake in immoral acts or illegal acts for a friend. True friends will never ask you to take part in immoral or unlawful acts as show of your support or kindness towards them. Individuals that are involved in these types of activities are not interested in your friendship as they are finding a scapegoat for their own actions.

Don't Ask for Money for Gifts

Never try to obtain a new friends by purchasing them gifts or offering them money and materials. True friendship is not based on the amount financial freedom or material items that you possess. Just as you should never base your friendship on the valuables of others.

When asked out to dinner, never assume that the other person will be paying the entire bill and never ask a friend to bail you out of a financial problem that you may be faced with. It is not the responsibility of a friend to ever help out financially when you are the person that is in debt.

Don't Sell Out Current Friends

Do not turn away positive friends for the opportunity to make other friends. Never jeopardize an established friendship with someone for the opportunity to start a new friendship with someone else. This is not a sign of being honest, responsible, trustworthy or even moral. If you have made plans with a friend, do not break the plans because a better offer comes along. Your friendship needs your dedication as well as the dedication of the other individual to establish the trust level that is important in every friendship.

Know when it is best to stay non-bias. At one point or another, everyone goes throughout difficulties with their loved ones. If you friend is venting about their family or other friend it is important to listen without adding to the situation. Personal comments on your part can turn around to damage your friendship later on after the problem between your friend and the other person has been resolved.

It is best to listen to what your friend is saying and only comment in a manner that cannot be taken in a way as adding to their problem or making a negative attribute to the person’s relationship with the other individual.

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This page was last modified on 16 August 2013, at 23:09.
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