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How to Make Out for the First Time

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Make Out Like a Champ

Just hearing the words “making out” is often enough to send nervous shivers up anyone’s spine. When it comes to making out for the first time, the anxiety and anticipation involved can become nearly unbearable. Whether you are or experiencing making out for the first time ever or just making out with a new person for the first time, everyone feels some level of nervousness and anxiety.

However, the passion and desire unleashed during an intense make out session cannot be matched by another other human experience and all humans should have the honor of undergoing this uniquely human experience at least once in their lifetime, if not as often as possible.

The Basics of Making Out

A make out session is where kissing will escalate and reach a passionate level. It will involve holding, embracing and caressing along with the kissing. The extent of these actions will depend on the comfort levels of you and your partner.

Make out session basics:

•The kissing will likely include open mouth kissing with tongue play and can escalate to kissing on the neck and lower. The extent of these activities will depend entirely on the comfort level of those involved. •Make out sessions can be as short as a few wonderful minutes or can linger in ecstasy for hours. •Some make out sessions do lead to sexual activity but this is not a requirement. Sexual activity should not be expected during the first make out session. There is a wonderful amount of passion and fulfillment to be gained from a make out session that ends even without any sexual contact at all. •Although you might be nervous and anxious, try to remember that your partner likely feels the same way. Even if your partner has more experience than you, they do not have experience with you and every person is different when it comes to kissing.

Planning an Ideal Make Out Session

Although many make out sessions will happen spontaneously, it is ideal to do some planning for the first session if possible. When planning a make out session there are three things to keep in mind:

  • Privacy
  • Comfort
  • Atmosphere

Ideally, the make out session will occur in a place that offers a good amount of privacy in an intimate atmosphere. This will ensure that both partners are able to relax and enjoy making out, instead of worrying about being interrupted or observed. Additionally, a couch or other comfortable surface can help prolong a make out session by keeping both partners comfortable. Even when you do have the luxury of planning for your first make out session, you should take great care to avoid over planning. When making out, it’s usually best to allow the situation to flow naturally and not try to follow a strict plan.

Preparing for Your First Make Out Session

Making out is the most common way to explore each other intimately and is the way that mutual chemistry is gauged. You can expect to be getting very up close and personal with your partner during a make out session. There will be embracing, holding and even caressing involved in the make out session along with extensive kissing. This makes it vital to do some personal upkeep beforehand. While there are some self-explanatory basics, like good oral hygiene, there are other dos and don’ts that should be heeded as well.

Personal upkeep dos:

  • Shower beforehand using soap and shampoo
  • Be freshly shaven if applicable
  • Wear deodorant
  • Ensure clothing and undergarments are clean and presentable
  • Thoroughly brush your teeth and floss

Personal upkeep don’ts

  • Choose to shave for the first time an hour before your partner arrives
  • Wear too much or overpowering cologne or perfume
  • Wear uncomfortable or dirty clothing or undergarments
  • Leave a mess in the bathroom where they may see it
  • Chew gum when they arrive

Make Out Session Methodology

When making out for the first time, you should be aware of the basic methodology of making out. Usually a make out session will proceed in the following manner:

1. Partners begin to embrace and lightly kiss 2. Light kissing then progresses to open mouthed kissing 3. Kissing escalates and further caressing can begin 4. The kissing begins to taper off and the session ends

There are no set time limits for a make out session, and these steps will progress according to how comfortable you and your partner are together. Most of the time, you will want to go slowly and allow the make out session to linger. Do not try to put time constraints on your session. It is always best to let the session flow naturally and not force it to be either too long or too rushed.

Types of Kisses

There are many different types of kisses, each with their own special meanings. Kisses can usually be grouped into three basic groups:

  • Granny Kisses. This is the type of kiss you would give your grandmother or aunt. These kisses are closed mouth and usually consist of a quick peck on the lips or cheek. This is not the type of kissing you want to encounter in a make out session.
make out tips
  • Light Kisses. Light kisses are more meaningful than granny kisses. They show greater affection and tend to linger a lot longer. Light kisses can happen on the mouth, neck or any other sensuous body area. Light kisses can start as closed mouth kisses but also can be open mouthed. Light kisses are a great way to ignite the flames of passion and build towards more passionate and serious kisses. Light kisses are typically used at the beginning and end of a make out session.
  • Serious Kisses. Serious kisses are kisses you would never want to give your grandmother. These kisses are deep, passionate and long. Often, a serious kiss will transform into a French kiss. A French kiss is an open mouthed kiss that involves use of the tongue. With a serious kiss, your tongue may wander into your partner’s mouth, or your mouth may play host to their tongue. These kisses are long and lingering, stoking the flames of passion. They are at the heart of any good make out session.


Knowing the types of kisses, you may wonder how you should actually kiss during your first make out session. It is ok if you don’t have a lot of experience kissing. After all, no one is born an expert kisser. Becoming a great kisser takes patience and practice. Although it may seem intimidating, keep in mind that your partner is likely inexperienced as well and is not an expert. They might have more experience than you, but there is always more to learn when it comes to kissing techniques.

Beginning the Make Out Session

It is usually best to start the first kiss with a hug or similar embrace. For males, you can wrap your arms gently but firmly around her and slowly pull her close. For females, when a male has his arms around you it is usually most comfortable to lightly wrap your arms over his shoulders. Then, slowly pull your partner close, leaning towards them. Take care to avoid bumping noses with your partner, and with a mostly closed mouth, gently brush your lips against theirs. When you brush your lips to theirs, it’s ok to make brief eye contact, but then it is best to close your eyes. If your partner sees you watching them, they may feel self-conscious or wonder if you are disinterested in them.

Kissing basics to remember:

  • Relax and enjoy the moment
  • Go slowly and don’t rush
  • Hold them gently yet firmly
  • Close your eyes

If your partner responds in a receptive manner, then kiss them again with your mostly closed mouth. Some people will kiss back at this point, but shyer people may not directly return the kiss. For a shyer person, a good sign they are receptive is if their lips relax and they continue embracing you.

If your partner is receptive, you can then move on to more advance kissing techniques. It is important to take things slowly at this point to avoid making anyone uncomfortable. While embracing your partner, slowly begin to open your mouth more as you kiss. Do this slowly and do not try to use your tongue immediately. You need to slowly build up to tongue action. A receptive partner will usually begin to open their mouth as well and will typically return the kisses.

Signs of a receptive partner:

  • They pull you closer
  • They open their mouth or offer their tongue to you
  • They are softly moaning
  • They increase the intensity of their kisses
  • They continue to caress you throughout the kissing

As your mouths open more, you can gently begin to caress your partner. For males, this will usually mean lightly rubbing the female’s lower back, but not venturing below her waist just yet. For ladies, you can run your fingers through his hair, softly stroke his upper back or slide your hands down over his upper arms. The caressing will highlight the sensuality of the kisses and help raise the levels of passion. Additionally, for both partners light caressing sends a positive signal to the other person showing that their partner is enjoying the situation and comfortable.

Serious Kissing

The next stage of making out is serious kissing. As you continue with opened mouth kisses, you can experiment with lightly caressing your partner’s lips with your tongue. Do not attempt to suddenly ram your tongue into your partner’s mouth! Always start slow and slowly build up to more passionate tongue play.

A receptive partner will most likely either mirror the tongue play or open their mouth further, granting your tongue access to explore their mouth. When they open their mouth, gently and slowly begin to caress the side of their tongue with your tongue. A good tongue technique is very similar to licking an ice cream cone. You want to lightly caress their tongue and not smother it with yours. As things intensify, the kissing can become deeper and you can explore more with your tongue.

Kissing Trivia: People often wonder why opened mouth kissing is referred to as French kissing. It is believed that the name French kissing evolved due to the French typically being more sexually adventurous and open to new experiences at the turn of the century. In France, French kissing is usually referred to as love kissing or kissing with tongue.

What Happens Next?

For some, the next step of making out will involve intimate touching. For others, just the close embracing and kissing will be enough action for the first time. It is usually best to save further intimate touching for future make out sessions. The first session should be focused on getting a glimpse of the chemistry between you and your partner and not for seeing if you are completely sexually compatible.

As the kissing begins to taper off, you can shift positions and change to merely embracing your partner. At this time, if you enjoyed yourself, then you should tell them. It is best to openly communicate that you enjoyed the kissing to erase any doubts the other person may have. It is always nice to compliment your partner and tell them that they are a good kisser, even if you think they could use practice. After all, your partner was likely just as nervous as you were and the positive reinforcement will be welcomed.

Make out session basics to remember:

  • Start with soft closed-mouth kisses. With your mouth mostly closed, lightly touch your lips to theirs
  • Watch your partner’s reactions and make sure they are receptive
  • As the kissing continues, slowly experiment with opening your mouth more
  • If your partner reciprocates and opens their mouth, you can begin using your tongue
  • Do not just jam your tongue into your partner’s mouth, begin slowly by gently touching their lips
  • If your partner continues to be receptive, you can then slowly slide your tongue into their mouth and gently lick their tongue

Do's and Don'ts of Making Out

Everyone kisses differently, and there is no one “correct” way to kiss. However, there are still some basic dos and don’ts for kissing.

Do:

  • Enjoy the moment
  • Close your eyes
  • Relax
  • Always proceed slowly
  • Gently embrace your partner

•Start with small closed mouth kisses and progress slowly to open mouthed kisses

Don’t:

  • Stare at your partner while kissing them
  • Have gum or anything else in your mouth when you begin kissing
  • Start with heavy, open-mouthed kisses
  • Pull your partner close too tightly
  • Ignore your partner

Being a Good Make Out Partner

In order to be a good make out partner it is vital to pay attention and show your partner respect. Often, the most important way to show respect is by paying attention to their boundaries and heeding them. As with other deeply personal experiences, it is very difficult to put general labels and boundaries on this unique situation. When it comes to making out, the boundaries and limitations will be defined by the personal comfort levels of both you and your partner.

making out the right way

It is vital to remember the first time you make out with someone that you must be highly observant of their comfort levels. If they seem uncomfortable or say “No,” then you need to back off immediately. Failure to heed their signals will result in an unpleasant session and will often kill any chance of making out with them again in the future. Additionally, you also need to be comfortable with telling your partner no if you become uncomfortable. Your partner should show your boundaries the utmost respect and take great care to insure that you are comfortable.

Even if you have made out with many other people in the past, when making out with a new person for the first time, it is vital to pay attention to any red flag signals and back off when you see them. No two partners are the same, and everyone has different comfort levels.

Common red flag signals:

  • Your partner pulls back or pushes you away
  • Your partner acts disconnected or uninterested
  • Your partner is not actively participating by embracing you, kissing back or showing affection
  • You become uncomfortable or feel that your partner is overstepping your boundaries.

If any of the red flags occur, it is important to either stop or significantly slow down the action. Take stock of your current actions and consider what could make your partner uncomfortable.

Possible causes of discomfort:

  • Allowing your hands to wander too far too quickly
  • Uncomfortable seating or standing position
  • Room temperature
  • Unintentional tugging of hair or clothing
  • Aesthetic issues such as bad breath or body odor

Recovering From a Red Flag Signal

If you have received a red flag signal, the first thing you need to do is back off. Depending on the intensity of the signal, you may not need to completely stop your make out session. However, if your partner says “No,” pushes you away firmly or tells you to stop, then you need to cease the session immediately and try to communicate with your partner.

Communication is vital for establishing intimacy with another person. Always try to talk to your partner if anything seems amiss. After receiving the red flag signal, it is usually best to pull away from your partner and make eye contact while asking them if they are ok or if something is wrong.

These simple questions make excellent communication starters:

  • Is everything ok?
  • Are you enjoying this?
  • Am I doing anything to make you uncomfortable?
  • Are we moving too quickly?
  • Is there anywhere you don’t like being touched?

If your partner responds favorably, then you can slowly move back in and begin kissing and lightly caressing again. If your partner appears unhappy, disinterested or unwilling, then it is important to stop the make out session and try further communication with them. Discuss the issue they are having and respect their feelings. A make out session can turn from passionate to awkward very quickly if both partners are not on the same page.

Ensuring there is Another Make Out Session in the Future

Now that your first make out session is over you can relax. The first time is always the most stressful, and you now know what all the fuss is about. At this point, you are probably already looking forward to your next make out session. To help ensure you get another session of passion:

  • Compliment your partner on their kissing
  • Tell your partner you enjoyed the make out session and it felt amazing
  • Ask your partner how they enjoyed it
  • Ask your partner if there is anything they would like you to try differently next time
  • Give your partner a fond embrace and enjoy a sigh of contentment together

Taking Things Further

Many times people wonder what the best ways to continue evolving the intimacy in a relationship after they successfully complete their first make out session are. Often, more make out sessions will follow and eventually some will lead to sexual situations. When making out with someone you truly enjoy and care about, it can be hard to pace yourself and be patient.

However, it is vital to take things slowly with a new partner and to allow the relationship to organically grow into something greater. Never try to rush your partner and always remember to move slowly. When moving to more intimate touching and embraces, always remember to go slowly and ensure your partner is both comfortable and receptive.

Making out is an incredibly sensuous experience. The first time you make out with someone is an experience you will remember for the rest of your life. In order to have a successful and pleasurable make out session, always remember to move slowly and pay attention to your partner’s responses. When your partner responds with moans or increasingly passionate kisses, you can bet that things are going well. Remember to always obey your partner’s boundaries and you will have many more enjoyable make out sessions in the future!

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This page was last modified on 16 August 2013, at 23:11.
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