Square-Trix1
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THE SQUARE-TRIX
<NOWIKI> * THE SQUARE-TRIX * A parody of the Matrix and 8-Bit-Theater by Nerd42. I'm workin on turning this into a Macromedia Flash sprite cartoon! :D * TRAILER 1 * Music from the Matrix Trilogy plays. A stereotypical voice over guy who, of course, sounds like he's been smoking heavily since childhood speaks over it. [Voice-over guy] What if ... Every video game you ever played ... Was connected ... What if ... They all had one goal ... To be real. Whenever I feel like finishing an episode: teh leetest Matrix parody since The Matrix Still Has You ... Reloaded: The Square-Trix! Coming to a Flash portal near you. * EPISODE 1 * FADE IN: ON COMPUTER SCREEN so close it has no boundaries A blinking cursor pulses in the electronic database like a heart coursing with phosphorous light, burning beneath a derma of black-neon glass. A PHONE begins to RING, we hard is as though we were making the call. The cursor continues to throb, relentlessly patient, until -- [Customer] Hello? The screen suddenly flicks to BLUE and the main theme music from FINAL FANTASY 1 starts playing. Data now fades onto the screen. We can read: "Call trans opt: received. 2-19-2005 13:24:18 REC:Log>." [Pizza Man] Pizza Dungeon! On screen: "Trace program: running." [Customer] Yeah, I'd like to order an extra large evil pizza with extra nasty ... The entire screen fills with racing columns of numbers. Shimmering like green-electric rivers, they rush at a 10- digit phone number in the top corner. [Pizza Man] What's your address? The area code is identified. The first three numbers suddenly fixed, leaving only seven flowing columns. [Customer] I'm in Apartment 303 at the Chase Hotel. We begin MOVING TOWARD the screen, CLOSING IN as each digit is matched, one by one, snapping into place like the wheels of a slot machine. [Pizza Man] All right, it'll be there in 45 minutes. The final NUMBER POPS into place -- On screen: "Trace complete. Call origin: #312-555-0690." [Customer] Aw, man, that delivery time sucks! We MOVE, STILL CLOSING, the ELECTRIC HUM of the green NUMBERS GROWING into an ominous ROAR as we PASS THROUGH the numbers, entering the nether world of the computer screen. We FADE INTO a pixeled FOREST BACKGROUND from a FINAL FANTASY game. CENTER SCREEN is the glowing flickering circle of a SAVE POINT. Standing there, facing the SAVE POINT is a WHITE MAGE from FINAL FANTASY I. (NES) The SAVE POINT suddenly WINKS OUT with an electronic SOUND EFFECT from the MATRIX. THREE KOOPA TROOPAS from SUPER MARIO WORLD (SNES) from STAGE LEFT run up behind WHITE MAGE and their leader CASTS AN ICE SPELL. [Koopa Troopa] Freeze! Hands on your head! Do it! Do it now!! We see a BOWSER'S CASTLE THRONE ROOM where THIEF has come to see KING BOWSER. [Thief] Bowser ... you were given specific orders. [King Bowser] I'm just doin my job. Being the King! King Bowser! I rock!! [Thief] The orders were for your protection. [King Bowser] I think my Koopa Troops can handle one little White Mage. [Thief] No, Bowser, your Koopas are already smooshed. We return to the FOREST BACKGROUND exactly as before, and WHITE MAGE proceeds to BEAT THE CRAP out of the blue koopa troopas. After DEFEATING THE KOOPA TROOPAS, WHITE MAGE strikes a DRAMATIC POSE, and opens her CELL PHONE. [Black Mage] Emulator. [White Mage] Black Mage! The save was traced! I don't know how. [Black Mage] I know. You're going to have to find another Save Point. [White Mage] Are there any Thieves? [Black Mage] Yes. [White Mage] Oh crap ... [Black Mage] There's a save point near a well across the lake. Focus, White Mage. You can make it. WHITE MAGE stares towards our viewpoint as if deep in thought. [White Mage] All right ... [Black Mage] Go. WHITE MAGE turns around and standing there is THIEF. They are suprised to see each other, and without a word WHITE MAGE immediately runs for the lake. A CHASE SCENE begins with THIEF leading BLUE KOOPA TROOPAS to capture WHITE MAGE, but then WHITE MAGE JUMPS over the LAKE and THIEF follows. WHITE MAGE barely makes it to her new SAVE POINT, which RINGS like a TELEPHONE before THIEF runs over it with MAGITEK armor from FINAL FANTASY 6. THIEF realizes that WHITE MAGE has ESCAPED. [Thief] She got away. Oh well, I got the name of their next target. An ordinary warrior named FIGHTER ... I'll begin a search for him ... CLOSE UP on THIEF'S FACE. [Thief] It has already begun ... The CREDITS begin to roll for episode 1. Music: White
