Talk:The Cursed Wiki Article
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- See this page for a list of all the known cursed wiki pages.
Do NOT read this article. It is cursed. For real. No joke. There is an actual curse on the particular portion of the Uncycopedia database occupied by this article. DO NOT CLICK HERE, and most importantly do not link to the Cursed Wiki Article from anywhere but this page. This will help prevent other innocent people from being inadvertantly cursed.
Legend has it that an Uncyclopedia user tried to overthrow a corrupt admin. The attempt failed, and the user was cursed. They say The Cursed Wiki Article is a legend which no-one has looked upon and lived to tell. They're wrong of course, because if that was true then they couldn't have known about it to say it, now could they?
Another story is that a little girl was learning about wikis for an elementary school project. She clicked on a wiki at random and it just happened to be Uncyclopedia. She saw things there ... things hidden deep within the database ... things that scared her. She knew she would not live long, because the curse was upon her, so she clicked edit and put her message as a comment somewhere ... it may hold the key to unwravelling the mystery of how to be uncursed!
This just in: the message was ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US. It was just those vandals again. A false alarm.
What to do if you have been cursed
If you've read the article, you're going to die within seven days. But, although the curse is permanent, there are a few things you can do to delay the curse's effects:
- Editing the Cursed Wiki Article to make it look more scary could let you keep your soul, if not your life.
- Leaving comment(s) on this page can also help you stay alive longer.
However, understand of course that once you've read The Cursed Wiki Article, that's it. You're going to die. It's just a question of when.
Unless, you can uncover the Cursed Article's mysteries in time.
Oh wait ... there aren't any. OK, never mind. You're going to die. ;)
lol, edited ;)
The Double Whammy
Anyone who tries to delete this article is cursed by the most powerful curse availible for the Magic Finger: THE DOUBLE WHAMMY. Do not let this happen to you!
The Curse is Real!
Shortly after this article was created, (on Uncyclopedia no less) the entire Wikicities shut down for about 15 minutes, giving users the message:
Fatal error: Call to a member function on a non-object in /home/wikicities/wiki/includes/ObjectCache.php on line 409
There is no question that this was a phenonenon caused by the curse taking effect.
Possible transmission of curse through TV and Video
Recent reports have claimed that the curse has spread to other media, including TV, Radio, Newspaper and Mimes. Be on your guard at ALL times.
Better still wear blacked out shades.
The digitally remastered curse is also available on DVD, Video and BetaMax, through Amazon.com. A Director's Cut is expected to be announced in the spring.
Curse of ONX
Appearantly, the Curse of ONX has been added to the page, quadrupling the effects.
YE HAVE ONLY 7 DAYS MAXIMUM TO LIVE! doing the steps given before is your only chance out. ONX BE YOUR MASTER, AND BY COMING TO THIS PAGE, YOU ARE CLEARLY DEFYING HIM! FEEL THE WRATH OF ONX!
-i am monkeydude ... i was cursed by the cursed wiki article and now i have cancer and i'm going to die ... its a weird new form of cancer that kills u in one week ... DON'T READ THE ARTICLE !!!
-after i read it..i felt a sudden urge to pee..and that was when i knew that i was dead.
-you guys are messed up
-this is spam
-This is just plain dumb
my namez joker4. after i red teh article I got PWNd 4 like a n00b and now i'm ded. this is my ghost talking and you shouldn't read the article or else you will die you will die wyou dill die you will die you dilhlawjkerhnajbiz75x68cv you will die.
Roses are Red Violets are Blue I think I got cursed but I think this isn't true! - Famous Last Words
In Soviet Russia, article curses YOU!!
My name is sparticus and i have an anouncement to make. The artical doesnt say you will die in seven days it says you will be banned from wikipedia in seven days.
its not what the article SAYS ... ... ...
its what the article DOES .. .. ..
- Wait. Is this seven business days or just seven days period? Gosh. What a crappy way to die.
- I could tell you ... but then I'd have to kill you
- Wait. Is this seven business days or just seven days period? Gosh. What a crappy way to die.
I'm sorry. I'll never do it again... *dies because of the curse.* HEY! WHO COPYED AND POSTED THAT?
This is one of the freakiest things I've seen on the net.
This curse has no effect on me
Because I eat my breakfast and play video games.
The holy water might have something to do with it too.
W3 R 4LL DVVM3D!!
Im too scared
Im 11 yrold boy whos to scared to try but i do everything he does ^^^^
and the holy water. (Hey, the holy water is the ONLY way out; well, there's also the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, too ! But where can we get one?!
Did you brush your teeth last night?
If you have anything even remotely serious or important to say that isn't a story of being cursed by this article, leave it here. --Nerd42 21:37, 26 Oct 2005 (UTC)
I want everything on here to be mathematically correct to generate the best overall effect. The positions of the words, the number 543, (which is the percentage of some of the text on Vandalism) and 542 because it seemed like a good number to go with 543 and look cursed. I want this to actually become scary. It's not vandalism, though it may look like it. I'm trying to actually write an article that uses formatting, not words, to get a joke across. Subliminal messages. Oh, and some backwards text might help ... --Nerd42 17:27, 26 Oct 2005 (UTC)
uh yeah, I'm trying to create something like this only wiki-style. I want to have the formatting as messed up and wrong looking as possible, only in a precisely calculated kind of way. No doubt this page will become another target for actual vandalism ... but what can a vandal do to a page that's already messed up except improve it? When you've hit rock bottom there's no place to go but up ... except to Hell but since the article is cursed (Did I mention the article is cursed? I think I did ...) that would be a good thing >:-) --Nerd42 17:31, 26 Oct 2005 (UTC)
its really a real curse, yep yep yep
A number of people have been writing to me lately asking over and over again the same question: "Is the curse real?" "Is there a real curse?" "Is the real curse real?" "Is the curse really real?" "Is the real curse really really real?" "Is the cursed real cursed real cursed?" and a number of other variations that I cannot repeat because this is a family posting, and they involve curses.
The thing I really don't understand about the extreme puzzlement and curiosity that people seem to have about the question of whether the curse is real is that they've already been told, yet they still wonder. In fact, they probably already knew before they were told, because everybody knows what is in Room 101.
However, on the off-chance that someone doesn't know a real curse when they (hopefully don't) see it, the top of this very Talk page has the answer to this oft-repeated FAQ. Anyone who doesn't understand this obviously can't read. It says (and has always said) and I quote:
- Do NOT read this article. It is cursed. For real. No joke.
Of course the curse is real. what ... do you think we'd go around making people think there was a real curse like a stupid Uncyclopedia Halloween prank if there wasn't a real curse that actually does kill people? Like, I mean, look at it this way:
Arguments for the reality of the Curse
- What possible motive would we (the contributors, listed when you click the history tab) have for lying? I mean, surely we have better things to do with our lives than edit prank articles designed to freak people out and make them think they're going to die.
- The testimonials prove it: the curse is real.
- Somebody flashed their laptop screen at my window, and it had the article on it, and I didn't see it but about a week later my goldfish died, along with two of the neighbours cats and all the houseplants on the block except for this one really scary one that tried to eat me the other day, but that's a totally different curse than the one we're talking about here.
- If it's on the internet, then it must be true! Surely, living in the 21st century, you must know that by now! Grow up and get with the times, people! --Nerd42 18:54, 9 December 2006 (UTC)
Huh... blood is red arteries blue i think i'll see mine if this curse is true but i really dont know no signs do show so just to stay safe i'll edit this page with an ancient curse from the ancient witches age: those who set this curse page make me angry! Lucifer bring forth the pain of madness known upon their heads! ardrelamastro, martarastar, frocuss!
curses only have power if you believe in them, fear and belief imbue them with power...trust me on this, i'm a real witch.