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How to Touch a Girl

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Making the Right Contact

Maybe she's a complete stranger. Maybe you've been best friends since you were kids, or maybe this is your first date. All you know is that you really like her, and you want to get closer. The power of touch is incredibly important between humans, and especially between a couple.

If you know how to touch a girl so that she feels safe and loved by you, it will help to cement your relationship. This article is a guide with tips on how you can learn to do just that, without making the object of your desire feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

First of all, you should not assume she is attracted to you. All women are different, and some are very uncomfortable with being touched even by their closest friends. If she is from out of town or a different country, she might even be used to different customs. For these reasons, you never want to touch a woman with intent until you know how she feels about you, and about being touched by you.

When is the Right Time to Touch

There are simple ways you can figure this out. In the winter, help her put her coat on. You should never rush to do this, it must seem like a casual, natural extension of what you meant to do, anyway. All women love confident gentlemen. Pick up her coat and hold it behind her so she can put her arms through the sleeves. With luck she will brush against you, or smile in thanks. If she does brush against you, pay attention to how she does it.

Does she let the touch linger, or does she jerk away with distaste? If your hands did not accidentally brush, notice if she moves away from you quickly or not. If a woman is interested in you, she will want to stay close to you. Don't be disheartened if this one does not respond, either. If nothing else, you have risen in her estimation as a gentleman. Not many men take the time to help women put their coats on nowadays.

In the summertime you won't likely have the chance to help her put on her coat or jacket. You can, however, link arms. Girls love to do this with their friends, so even if you aren't sure you want her to know you are interested in her yet, you can offer her your arm without seeming too interested. It feels fun to walk along somewhere arm in arm, and if she likes you, you will notice her cuddling slightly against you. Walking arm in arm is a great way to feel out if it is appropriate to try to touch her further.

Being a Gentleman

When you work to get to know a girl better, your agenda should never be more than wanting to enjoy her company. Woman can always tell when men have a hidden agenda, and while it can be flattering, if she's not entirely sure what you are up to, she will be intrigued.

That said, you must not let pre courtship go on very long. You don't want her to become involved with any other man, and you don't want to stray into the friendship lane, either. By the second or third time you have spent time with her, you must try to kiss her, or at least touch her with intent.

After you are positive that she likes being close to you and is interested in you, it is appropriate to begin making your advances. Take her out someplace where you can both sit comfortably and relax on a park bench with a couple of ice cream cones, for example and listen to her talk. Watch her lips when she speaks, for minutes at a time.

Moving in Slowly

Ask questions occasionally, but for now, let her do most of the talking. When the conversation begins to get personal, look her in the eyes and continue to listen, but lightly stroke the top of her forearm as you look at her. This feels wonderfully exciting. Try it on yourself. If she gets distracted and stops talking, tell her, "No, please go on. I'm just listening."

After you've stroked her arm for a little while, you might try taking her hand up and kissing her fingers lightly, playfully. If the mood has become too intense or you want to prolong the seduction so that she gets extremely excited, bite one of her fingers and then get up to begin strolling again. Offer her your arm once more.

At this point, if the two of you stop for any reason, you might try lightly touching the small of her back, or even stroking her hair. Women love it when you stroke their hair because usually they've worked hard getting their hair to look beautiful for you.

Old Fashioned Chivalry

You might also try taking her elbow when the two of you go up stairs or she steps off a curb this is a courtly, old world gesture which Frank Sinatra used all the time. If you look at any of the glamorous old pictures of him on the town with beauties like Ava Gardner or Lauren Bacall, chances are high that he's holding their elbow.

This is done with a light, dry touch, just above the physical elbow. It helps women to keep their balance in high heels, and makes them feel safe and protected. All women love strong, confident men. Many women especially love alpha men. By always taking small steps to protect her, your woman will instinctively begin to feel that you are strong and confident. She will begin to trust you even more.

be a soft toucher

Most people need to feel they trust someone very well before they will consent to having them touch them, especially romantically. So, although you must make your romantic intent known within two to three dates, during the date itself you must never seem to be rushing things or to seem desperate. After all, if you immediately throw yourself at a girl, she isn't going to feel very special.

Even if she likes you, she'll quietly assume you rush into physicality with every girl you've been with. There's a very good reason that men who don't seem to need women always have the most beautiful ones in the room hanging on their every word. Women want someone who is at least slightly difficult to obtain.

By prolonging the seduction you will also have her much more deeply in love with you, too. Even if the two of you don't work out in the long run, she'll always remember you with longing. One of the best ways to make a woman want to be touched is to prime her with very light touches and conversation.

Being a Good Talker

It cannot be underestimated how much most women love conversation. The Kama Sutra, an ancient manual on sexual pleasure, even lists conversation as an integral part of foreplay. If the great ancient lovers understood this, then so should you.

Really listen to your girl as she is talking. A little later in the evening, preferably on the first night you've hung out, begin to open up a little yourself. Even if you ordinarily like to talk and talk, it's important to make it seem as though you're talking to her as you've never talked with anyone before. Don't gush or talk too much. Be mysterious, save some of your stories for later.

listening to a girl

If you love to joke, go ahead and joke women love humor but don't hog the spotlight. After you have opened up a little to her, the sense of intimacy will have further deepened. Stroke her hair again, or the underside of her neck. Look into her eyes, run the back of your hand very gently down her smooth cheek.

Tell her how soft her skin feels, how beautiful she is. Be specific about this, too anyone can tell a girl she's beautiful or pretty, but make the compliment really special and unique to her. If the two of you are standing, pull her tight against you.


Hold the small of her waist with both hands, or even just with one and keep the other at the base of her neck. Brush your lips together, and maybe your noses. If your eyes are closed, open them to look at her once more. Hopefully she'll start to say something, and you can cut her off with a kiss.

Be a Great Kisser

The best kisses are not too moist and not too dry if the kiss becomes intimate and involved, do your best to not get her face wet, but if you do, pull back just slightly and wipe her lips with the back of your finger, smiling. She'll melt into a puddle.

As the two of you begin to feel more comfortable and intimate together, let your touches linger for longer amounts of time. Put your arm around her shoulders or her waist. Remember to always have a firm, dry touch you don't want to pat her nervously with clammy hands.

That feels very unsettling and not romantic. Also avoid touching her in any sexual areas, like the upper thigh, lower hip, or bust area, until you are in a relationship. Even if you do end up in a serious relationship together, remember that this is a girl you care deeply about. You don't want people to ogle her, or treat her as if she's anything less than a lady. So don't touch her inappropriately in public. Even if she does not feel comfortable, she might go along with it because she cares about you, but this is unacceptable.

When you are in a public area, like a mall, a party, or a movie theatre, don't grab at her body or go overboard with deep kisses. By keeping these things just between the two of you, you make these acts much more sacred. Even if you are not a religious person, the power of touch between two people is something sacred which should be honored.

Become an Artist

Touch is a simple act, but it is an art form. Touch has the power to forge an unbreakable bond between two people or just an exciting fling, if that's what you're looking for instead. Here are some ways you can make her blush or give her goosebumps. Doing these little tricks will add spice to any relationship. After all, we can't just talk to each other all the time.

Stroke her firmly with your entire palm and fingers. This should only be done when you are sure your hands are warm and dry, otherwise it will feel unpleasant.

Run your hand up her arm, or stroke the back of her neck. If she relaxes her neck back into you, place two fingers on either side of her neck and rub them up into her scalp. This will release tension and help her to relax over all. You might also scratch the back of her hair, if she likes that.

Run your fingertips very, very lightly anywhere on her body. This is a guaranteed way to give her goosebumps and a thrill. This move is especially fun at a scary movie she might pop out of her seat!

Stroke her lips gently with your thumb. This is another old world trick that makes girls absolutely melt, and they'll think you are very dashing for knowing it. If you combine this with looking deeply into her eyes, she'll be positive that she's falling in love with you.

Spicy & Hot Moves

If your relationship is very comfortable or advanced, here's a spicy move for you to try. Run your tongue up the length of her spine, or as much as is visible. The combination of your warm breath and the cool trail your tongue leaves behind it is very exciting. This is also communicates intense interest for her, which she will love.

Breathe on her neck. There's a spot on all women, usually located just a little to one side, which is a huge pleasure button. When you're kissing, hugging, or dancing, try to find this spot by breathing warmly and lightly to one side of her neck. If you find it, the back of her knees will get weak and she'll fly head over heels for you.

Tug her hair. This is a move which can go very, very wrong, and seem juvenile if executed poorly, but if you are confident and dominant, this little trick will have you on her mind all the time. When you see her in passing, brush your hand across the back of her hair or, if you dare, take a large piece of it and tug down firmly. Not too hard. This is a very arousing gesture, and is an especially good way to get your friends partners to notice you without actually flirting with them.

Kiss her shoulders. The front of her shoulders is surprisingly sensitive kiss her shoulders, or bite them slowly and lightly. This is a great way to catch her off guard, and works especially well with light summer dresses and tank tops. She'll love it and love you for finding every part of her body attractive, rather than just the obvious bits. Which you like very much too, of course.

Thinking Outside the Box

Her ankles are extremely sensitive as well. Women love to have their feet rubbed, and a very special, erotic way to finish giving her a long foot rub is to warmly kiss the inside of her ankle. Some women have very sensitive calves as well, and you can trail your fingers up her calves or your lips. For a spicy twist on ending the foot rub, try licking and sucking her toes. She'll squeal, because this is very ticklish, but it will feel wonderful, too.

That said, why not give her a hand rub, too? Concentrate on the fleshy outer pad and the pad beneath her thumb. The wrist area often gets sore, too. A hand massage feels even better with lotion, because women do not like to have their delicate skin rubbed too hard.

Also rub the sides of every finger all the way up to the finger tip. Experiment with using a twisting motion. The best way to learn how to give amazing hand and foot rubs is of course to practice on yourself. Whenever you are giving someone else a massage, ask them what feels best, and if there are any sore spots you should work hard on or maybe even avoid.

To make the above moves extra powerful, think about how much you care for her as you make the motions. The thoughts behind our actions translate into our touch, and she will be able to sense the sincerity or insincerity of your gestures. Think about how much you want to protect her, how lovely she is, how proud you are to have caught her interest, if you aren't actually very interested in her, you can always just think about how pretty she is.

However, having a bunch of conquests you were never actually interested in or challenged by is inherently unsatisfying. Many people look up to the guys who always seemed to have a steady string of girls in high school or college, but these same guys are often deeply unhappy and unsatisfied later in life. It is much better for your health, career, and quality of life if you spend your time seeking a relationship with someone you admire and enjoy, rather than just arm candy.

Keep it Interesting

It's important to spice up your touching routine, especially after the two of you become comfortable with each other. You never want to become predictable. Vary the ways in which you touch her try touching her lightly sometimes and more firmly other times. If the mood is right, many women love for things to get a little rough now and then.

You must never hurt her, of course, but you can be a little more aggressive if that is what she likes. Try surprising her at work and giving her a hug and a kiss, or take her on a long, romantic walk for a moonlit cuddle. The main thing is to always have fun with it. A relationship becomes extra special when both people try hard to please and take care of each other, and taking care to touch with consideration and positive intent will result in a deeply enjoyable relationship.

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This page was last modified on 16 August 2013, at 23:14.
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