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VGOC-Jokes

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Jokes and other funny things (JOFT) at VGOC are an integral part of the group. The following has a collection of both jokes and other miscellaneous funny things.

  • [Mr. Pittman]: Hank, sit down.
  • Li, buy us fries!
  • In Soviet Russia, joke kills Hank.
  • [Hank's Soviet Russia joke]: In Soviet Union, Leader chooses you! hahahahahahahah
  • [Nick]: K, let's test you. How about you define this leaf without saying basically?
[Oleg]: uh... well you see... uh... basically. Ahhhh Shiit!!!
  • So far, the fastest pop drinking record is held by Oleg, who managed to drink four cans of coke in about two minutes at one of the parties at Li's.
  • [Amir]:"Where's the Start Button?"
  • [MF]:"hehehe... Ith's Purple..." [Jia really needs to stop wearing that sweater. It's getting to the point where I can't stop myself from doing it. ~MF]{I donated that sweater to community living}
  • [Li]:Errr,I had a nightmare last night... It was bad...
[Someone]:What was it about?
[Li]:I had a 99% on one of my math tests
  • [Ken]: Such low-level.
  • [Zhang]:"When speaking to girls, guys voices go about an octave higher"
[Jia Jia] (to girl) "OH HEY!" (voice goes 3 octaves higher)
  • [Anyone] "FUUUUUUUCK!"
  • [Anyone] "Oleg, you're never going to pick [The Mafia] right anyways. Just frigging guess so you can lose now."
[Oleg] "Wait, wait... I'll get it..."
  • [Zhang, aiming at a rock in TS/Halo] "I'm helping!"
  • [MF, Playing Halo CTF] "Kay, basically, <Insert complex plan>. Ahh fuck I'm down. I'll do my part, don't worry." *Dies again* "Just wait, I'll get it."
[Oleg] "Should I just grab the flag?"
[MF] "NO! Stay there! I'll help you!"
[Oleg] *Grabs flag, beats some guy with it.*
[MF] "Oleg, what the hell are you doing? I'll come to you and help you."
[Oleg] *Scores, without MF's help*
[MF] "Great job, a real team effort!"
  • [MF, when the flag is stolen] "Shit shit shit man, where the hell's our flag. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE OUR FLAG IS? WE NEED THAT FRIGGING FLAG BACK NOW. SHIT they could score soon someone stop them what the hell are we gonna - Oh, here it is. Don't worry guys, false alarm."
  • [Nathan] "I'll get in the tank!" *Gets blown up right away* "Awww damn."
  • [Nick/MF] "My goddamn teammates..."
  • [Mod]: "Kay,everyone please wake up..." [Li] "BRYAN'S MAFIA!"
  • [MF]: Zhang!!! Where's my "Mountain of Hatred" T-shirt?!!! [I still wear that shirt every VGOC ~MF]
  • [Zhang] *Says something painfully obvious*
[MF] "That's a very astute observation."
  • [Nathan] "I wonder if I could hit Sean in the head..." *Chucks football*
Silence for a moment
[Sean] OW! WHAT THE HELL?
  • (Assault on Zanzibar)
[Nick] "Okay, Nathan, don't go for the bloody sword, MF is going to snipe you"
[Nathan] "No no, I think I've almost got it..." *Gets sniped by MF*
[Nick] "Goddamn it Nathan, what did I just say?"
[Nathan] "...Shut up..."
  • FFA on Random Map
[Li] "hmmmmm... I wounder where is <insert random person's name>"
Tony was sniped by <"random person">
[Li] "Found him..."
  • [Li] "I know who Mafia is"
[Everyone else] "SHUT UP!"
  • [Ken] (To Sean after everyone has noted his significant increase in height): "ah... *ken wave* late puberty."
  • [Nick] "Oleg I have a 10-day Trial for World of Warcraft, you want it?"
[Oleg] "Sure. Now, how to make the best of this (starts talking to himself) Let's see... Now if I install it this weekend, I can play for two days...and If I skip school on monday, thats one more day..."
  • [Li]: *Dies in Halo* "BAHURGHA!"
[MF, Nick]: "...wtf?"
  • [During Mafia at Lithium]:
[Li, the Mod]: In the morning, MF dies.
[MF]: Fuck. Fuck. That's really retarded. *Starts laughing, walks away*
[MF to Li, in private]: "I'm the fucking JESTER! GAR!"
Next round, the same thing proceeded to happen. MF was very mad.
  • [Howard]: "Wait... what happens in Kill Bill 2?"
[Nick]: "Well Howard, what do you think?"
[Howard]: "Does she meet Bill?"
[MF]: "NO SHIT!"
  • Nick has just told us a spooky story about Satan and a church.
Long pause where everyone is contemplating the story.
[Ken]: Uhh... what the heck is a Satan?
  • Various acronyms represented by ASTC
  • [Jiajia]: "...like I mean Amy doesn't even know that degrees celsius is temperature."
[Gloria (Jiajia's sister)]: "Even I know degrees celsius is temperature!"
  • [Zhang]: "...all conversations eventually come down to shit."
  • [Ken, after getting voted out for the third time in a row because of the "Ken Principle"
[Ken]: Okay seriously what kind of gay reason is that?! Just cause i don't die in the first round you guys assume I'm mafia?! Oh my god! You guys are idiots!
  • [Ken]: Who the hell names a drink "balls"?!
  • [Oleg to Ken]: ...yeah, some of us might be going to the Hitchcock's workshop this weekend.
[Ken]: *What*cocks?? Ugh. Why do debate places always have such gay names?

Since December 1, 2006

  • [Nick]: "Well... shit flows when shit flows."

The following took place at Experience US, an event hosted by the U of S

  • [Kate](non VGOC):Its so cold!
  • [Jia]:I'm not cold
  • [Kate]:You'd think living here for 17 years would get you used to it. But I'm still cold.
  • [Jia]:The cold has warped my DNA and given me leg hair.
  • [Kate]:So you normally wouldnt have leg hair?
  • [Hank]:Well you see Chinese males have less pubic hairs--
  • [Jia/Kate]:WHAT?!

Apparently Hank did not know the actual meaning of pubic hairs.

  • [Nick]:*rubs beard* see Hank? these are NOT pubic hairs.

Mr Davis was telling a story in English class

  • [Rocky]: You bastards! I'm going throw grenades in yuor basement!


  • [Rocky]: (misspronounciation of certain words)
    • Rocket Launcher = Rocky Lawnsher
    • Assault Rifle = Salt Rifle
    • Aerosol Cannon = Arson cannon
    • Sharqi Peninsula = Sharaki Pensylvania

[Zhang] (following Model UN meeting): *laughs*hey Rachel I like how you're always using VGOC-language now.

[Rachel]: *laughs* k. shut up.
[Zhang]: But k, you're always like "k, seriously. k seriously"!
[Rachel]: K! Seriously!
[MF remembers it as Zhang trying to say something and beginning his sentence with "Kay, seriously, basically", after which much laughing ensued.]

In Mr. Davis' class, people are asked to read off of a book.

  • [Rocky]: So she throws her dead husband in the incinerator...
  • *class laughs*
  • [Rocky]: Ohh that is big burn!

[Hank]: War is hell, and in hell, bad things happen, might is right, and in hell, you screw ugly girls to get out.

[Zhang]: Does that mean we all go to heaven for screwing Prasun?

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This page was last modified on 4 December 2008, at 15:27.
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