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Walter Payton College Prep

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"and then... nothing"

~ David O on Being a pimp masta playa

Highschool ruled over by Walter Payton's ghost.

The laws of the real world have no relevance there.

Info

As is typical of many high schools, Walter Payton College Prep frequently traverses through different dimensions. It was last spotted on mars. Tomorrow it may be in "everything you say becomes a yo mamma joke" world, or possibly on your anus. Rarely, if ever, is it on any dimension that makes sense. For more nonsense within Payton, ask any math teacher to explain why something to the 0 power equals 1.

Duck.jpg

The Teachers

Mr. Karafiol

Teaches math.


Mrs. Benson

Is hot.


Mr. Rode

Eats babies.


Mr. Kinderman

Is an a-hole who doesn't believe in teaching.


Mr. Galson

Down to earth with numbers.


Mr. Espinoza

Is a Mathematician Gamer with over 9000 Neopet points!


Mrs. Burstein

Orgasms about AP Photo


Mr. Escobar

Is a gorgeous

Mrs. Mitchell

Cool (and crazy) history teacher that will "Obama Biden" your A$$!

Mr. Wright

Awesome Literature teacher, who makes fun of students for his own amusement!


Mrs. Tolias

Who's a math teacher who married in Greece and now owns a lot of acres and Sheep!

Digivolution

Walter-Payton-College-Prepmon digivolves from Pimpmon.

He has the fire attack.

Wpcpmon.JPG


"It's like sex... in school-superimposed-on-digimon form"

- Pappa Z on Image Editing

"When those digimon evolved they went from being playas, to gangstas, to straight up thugs. The terms they used for the evolution were just cover-ups for what it really was: a man moving up the chain in the street game, tryin' to make a way. Each time he gets bigger and has more power. He also gets more bitches. And you know that those ultra level digimon had plenty o' hoes"

- JD DeeJay on seeing the above image

"Never have I seen any superimposition of a school's facade so breathtaking than that upon a digimon. It is simple and truly essential of life. It is true art. And them muthafu***n' thugs is pimp yo"

- Pablo Picasso on Paytonmon

Events

Dances

The school occasionally holds dances. At the dances everybody brings drugs and random Osco perscriptions and the DJ blasts "Hamster Dance". Then a large bonfire is set in the center of the auditorium and we dance around it wildly. Occasionally a freshman is sacrificed. The spirits of the dead are summoned.

Then we have tea and crumpets, except for Mrs. W, who is given the blood of the victim child.

Talent Show

The talent show itself is pretty generic. As for the concessions, the school sells water bottles at the door... then immediatelly confiscates them...and resells them.

Rap Battle

Yo, yo, yo, yo
At Payton college prep, we bring the heat
These homies start rappin to a really tight beat
The lyrics are freestyle, it's all bona-fide
We got playas representin north, west, south side
We have rap battles, we bust some caps
And the winner is the one who has the the best raps
These guys are pretty good, spittin rhymes fo-sho
But you know the winner's always gonna be david OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

fritos doritos, i like those

Bob (Battle Of The Bands)

When it starts everyone is handed exstacy and glowsticks, and loud powerpop/rave is blasted over the speakers. It has been temporarily banned ever since Mr. Weaver was found ODed in the bathroom.

The years before that it was always just a group of homeless men masturbating on stage.... and who wants to see that?(put your hand down, you sick freak).

Extreme Sports Event

The contest is simple.

You must go in a helocopter.

Hang on the bar near the bottom...

While its flying over the ocean.

Drop onto a shark.

Kill it using a toothbrush, a 29-sided D&D die, a June 1987 playboy magazine, and your bare hands.

While being on fire the whole time,

and one leg tied behind your back.

and pirates shooting lasers at you.

while on a boogie board attached to a sea lion in insulin shock.

And then... nothing.

Classes

Chemistry

This class is pretty much the easiest class there is. It requires no thought, there is no homework invloved, and class consists of drinking random chemicals found around the room. Plus if your in AP Chemistry, Mr "Kindergarden" might blow up something again.

Hello Kitty deploying her anti-testosterone.

Geometry

In geometry, students learn the importance of "sexy numbers" in society. Without sexy numbers, what would give us erections?

That's right. Nothing. And nobody can't forget about Mr. G-Money, he only counts high if it involves money.

Physical education

Teachers: Mr. K, Mr. E, Mr. C, and can't forget... Ms. B

The teachers in this category seem to live off of their five o'clock shadows and drink excessive amounts of coffee.

Language

All language classes are excuses to sleep. Occasionally a teacher will throw a chair or the taco bell dog will apparate from nowhere. Block language is code for nap time.

Band

Come on, it's Mr. Rode! Classes consist of yelling, beatings, and bad songs being played on his piano.

Anyone is a target.

Gangs

The Tru Playas

These guys keep it real, don't cross em you'll regret it.

The Fake Playas

These guys have never kept anything real. Cross them frequently.

The WoW Players

These guys totally pwn noobs, liek if u cross them a lvl 60 pwn hak you up lollmao noob lol noob!!!1!

The people who aren't really a gang, but they're not really not a gang either, they just sit around and smoke pot and play Uno

...this one seems pretty self explanatory

Memorable Quotes

"Brian... I NEED MORE FRIES!"

- The Lunch Ladies on Life

"Ms. Ma... are you ticklish?"

- Louis in Bio

"Dude, what if all the cards were just one color, and one number. I would kick so much ass!"

- Pothead on Uno

"Hey you! Show me your ID card! Hey come back here!"

- new Payton security nub

"no... no... BU D~WAAAAAY *shakes head back and forth*"

- Mrs. Lu Laoshi

"So for my Chinese presentation, i'm going to compare chairman Mao and Jesus!"

- Logan

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This page was last modified on 27 September 2009, at 22:59.
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